


Coffee

by wehaveabucky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista Reader, Coffee, Coffee Shops, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 03:32:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17035805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wehaveabucky/pseuds/wehaveabucky
Summary: When you ran away to New York to start your new life, you weren't expecting to gain such high calibre friends... and maybe more





	1. Long Black

**“Black as night, sweet as sin.” – Neil Gaiman**

\---

Moving to New York after the battle of 2012 terrified your parents. Especially when they found out how close you would be living to the Avengers headquarters. Your family didn’t hate the Avengers, no, far from it. But even if they were heroes, heroes attracted villains and villains brought destruction. The idea of you being so close to this destruction gave anyone the right to worry.

But you weren’t scared. No, instead, you were excited. It wasn’t that you wanted something bad to happen. It was more that you wanted something to happen. Coming from a small town meant that you were eager to see something new. The cliché need to experience life before it was too late and where better place to experience it than New York City?

You stumbled upon The Cool Bean on your second day. You’d finally unpacked your boxes in your apartment but your first night was spent panicking over whether this was the right decision as you listened to the sirens and horns of the street below. So, on the second day, you’d forced yourself to step outside with a couple of resumes, the intention being: find a job. You didn’t really know where you were heading when you walked. You just sort of followed a crowd, swerving around oncoming pedestrians with their phones in their hands and making sharp rights and lefts when the road ahead looked too busy. After what felt like hours but had really only been ten minutes, you were stood outside The Cool Bean, admiring its interior and relishing in the smell of coffee. 

Having been a Barista for a while now, you had planned on getting a job in a coffee shop. After all, your savings covered maybe three months’ rent and food so if you wanted to be here long term, you definitely needed a job. But now you needed a job here. 

The bell above the door rang as you entered, and you were surprised to find it relatively quiet, contrasting to the busy outdoors. 

“Welcome to The Cool Bean, can I take your order?” A friendly guy with a Black band tee asked, a smile on his face. 

“Uhm… actually, I was wondering if you were hiring? I have a resume…” You fished in your bag, pulling out the piece of white paper containing all your details. 

“Oh, you’ll need to talk to Jill about that. She’s just over there.” The man pointed to an older woman by an espresso machine. You thanked him before heading over to the other end of the counter.

“Excuse me.” You tried to call over the woosh of the air from the machine as it frothed the milk. The woman frowned at you, glanced down at your hands gripping the white paper before nodding, holding up a finger. She continued making the coffee, pouring the frothed milk over coffee and creating an intricate pattern on the surface, sliding it across the counter to another Barista who picked it up and handed it to a waiting customer. 

“You want a job, sweetie?” The woman wiped her forehead with her forearm before leaning on the counter. 

“Yes… I have my resume-“

“We don’t hire based off resume.” The woman stood straight again before she gestured to the staff only door that assumingly lead to behind the counter. “Make us a good espresso and you’re hired.” 

You frowned but followed her orders, rolling up your sleeves as you walked. You didn’t like to brag, but you felt you made a good coffee. You’d been practicing for years and even though many looked down upon the job as merely a college kids way to get through college, you appreciated the art behind it. 

The difficulty in getting the right grind of bean and the right amount of pressure when you tamp was an art to you.

As you made your way around the machine, Jill watched with a smile. The way you danced around the machine like it was a lover. The way you just knew what to do. Even if you hadn’t used this machine before, you knew it. It was an old friend. It was over as fast as that. Two espressos made and placed before Jill and the male barista you had met before. The two looked at each other, clinking the glass of the espressos together as you cleaned the machine before taking a sip. Both smiled. Jill had expected you to be good but not this good.

“When can you start?” 

\---

You agreed to start the next day and you worked out a rota with Jill. It was mainly nights and evenings, with the occasional morning shift. You didn’t complain. You were new and if these were the shifts left, you’d take them. Your first shift started at 4pm the next day and went on until close. 11pm. It was long, but you immediately got into the swing of things, flowing nicely with the other Baristas and Jill. The other Baristas, Greg, the guy you’d met the day before, and Lily, were friendly and funny. You instantly fell into a rhythm with them. Jokes were shared between the shouts of orders and the instructions for cleaning. 

By 10:30, the shop had died down considerably. It was just you and Greg on shift and you leant on the counter talking about your old town. You were halfway through a conversation when Greg looked up with a smile and moved to the till. 

“Hey, Clint. The usual?” Greg smiled and he received a desperate ‘please’ in reply. You took in the appearance of the man. He was wearing what looked like exercise gear… just maybe more intense. His hair was a mess on his head, spiking up in different directions and his eyes were heavy with dark bags. 

“Y/N, this is Clint, a regular.” Greg moved to the filter machine, grabbing a pot labelled ‘Clint’ from the shelf above. You frowned, turning to Clint.

“You have your own pot?” 

Greg and Clint smirked as the coffee began to drip from the machine. 

“I have a problem.” Clint replied. “So you’re new here?” You nodded in response. “Interesting. You must make a mean coffee. Jill hasn’t hired anyone new in years.” You blushed at what sounded like a compliment and turned to Greg for confirmation. Greg just shrugged.

“You new to New York?” Clint asked, and you nodded with a smile.

“Yeah you know, typical small-town girl moving to New York story.” You waved your hand in a gesture of dismissal and Clint chuckled, eyeing the now full coffee pot Greg was carrying over.

“Ugh you have no idea how much I need this.” Clint groaned, the desperation evidence in his voice. “Nat’s been riding my ass all day with some bullshit files.” Clint closed his eyes and smelt the coffee. “Ahhhh…” 

You nearly snickered at how sexual it sounded but instead just smiled at Greg. 

“Alright, folks.” Clint stood straight, pot still in hand. “I’ll be off. Nice meeting you, Y/N.” He saluted before heading out the door, full pot of coffee in hand.”

“He takes the-“

“He needs it.” Greg explained with a smile. “Always brings it back. We have a few regulars. I’m sure you’ll learn their orders like the back of your hand. And some get them for free. Like Clint.”

“He gets that much coffee for free?” You nearly gasped. “Where can I get his loyalty card?” 

“Avengers tower.” Greg snorted, and your eyes widened. 

“He’s an Avenger?” Holy shit you’d just met an Avenger! The excitement was clearly evident in your eyes as you clutched your chest in shock. 

“You really are small-town aren’t you.” Greg cleaned the machine and threw you a cloth, indicating that you clean the counter. “Just remember. Clint. Looooooong Black.” 

\--- 

Clint came into the shop nearly every night, picking up a pot of coffee. You tried not to fan-girl and you hoped it didn’t show when you conversed with him of an evening. But you were in awe that you got to serve an Avenger coffee. 

Sometimes, if he came in right before closing, you and whichever other Barista on shift would turn the open sign to closed and sit with Clint whilst he drank coffee. You loved these moments because Clint always shared the best stories. Never about work… not really. Just around it. About his dog, his kids, his wife. 

But also, about the domesticity of the Avengers. Like how Tony was wrapped around Pepper’s finger. Or how Natasha taught ballet classes at the local dance studio. Or how Bruce got so mad at Tony’s irritating voice one time that he hulked out in the lab and Nat had to sleep dart him. 

One Avenger he didn’t have much to say about was Steve. Clint would always mention if he’d done something particularly friendly but there was never a majorly interesting story.

“He keeps himself to himself mainly. I think he’s just trying to figure stuff out.” Clint explained when you asked why. 

One particular evening, talk had turned to you. It had originally been about just your town and family but eventually changed to something else.

“So, let’s be real. You said that you ran to New York. Are you sure you weren’t running away from something?”

You took a sip of your coffee.

“A little I guess.” You shrugged, looking down at the table and tracing the wood. “It was more like… something gave me the push to run to New York.”

“And that push was a boy.” Lily blurted, and your head shot up. She raised her hands in defence. “What? I wouldn’t blame you. Boys have a tendency to fuck up a good thing.”

“Married boy sitting right here.” Clint rolled his eyes, pouring another pot of coffee from the Clint pot. 

“Boys, sweetie. You’re a man.” Lily patted Clint on the head and Clint grinned like an overexcited Labrador. 

“Tell us about it.” Clint pushed and then added, with a shrug, “If you want.”

You hesitated and sipped your coffee again.

“Well I guess it’s just a typical asshole boyfriend kind of situation. We began dating in high school and I was naïve enough to think we were high school sweethearts, you know? Like the movies. It was literally the cliché. We were best friends growing up and it was like the whole girl next door situation. I thought oh, here’s a chick-flick and it’s going to be my life. But no…” You trailed off, biting your lip. “He was nice at first… but I… he… had a difficult family life. His dad abused his mom and that was all he ever knew. His dad told his mum he loved her and then he’d hit her. Cole never really stood a chance-“

“If you are defending this asshole and then you tell me he hit you…” Clint’s voice was a low and warning and yet had an odd comfort about it. 

“I’m not defending him… more like… I should have seen it coming.” Your voice was quiet, barely above a whisper and barely audible over the soft music playing over the coffee shop speakers. 

“So, he did hit you.” Lily broke the silence and it felt like a foghorn. You winced at her words, as if he was hitting you again.

“I thought I could deal with it. I loved him, and he loved me so I’d just deal with it. But then… it got worse. It wasn’t just hitting anymore. He’d… force himself on me and tell me it was fine because we were together, but it wasn’t… it never felt fine. And then he got really mad one night and knocked me down and then just kept kicking and kicking me. Broke a rib.” It was silent again and you didn’t want to see the look on their faces. “I was lying in the hospital and then, this bit is stupid, but I looked up at a picture of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers meeting some kids at the hospital and I thought ‘they wouldn’t do this’.” You laughed as if what you’d said was the funniest thing in the world. Clint smiled sadly. “And then I just realised that I wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. I was always doing what he wanted me to do and that ended up with me lying in a hospital bed with a broken rib. So, I got him arrested, told my family I was moving to New York and three months later, here I am!” You smiled widely but it didn’t reach your eyes. Neither Clint nor Lily smiled back. 

It was silent for a long time then as everyone sipped their coffee and processed the information you had just shared.

“I’m sorry you went through that.” Clint finally spoke up. “But I’m glad you’re here.” He smiled with Lily and this time it didn’t look forced. You smiled back, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Yeah me too.”


	2. Decaf

**“Wanna hear a joke? Decaf.” – Unknown**

\---

That night you had probably the best night’s sleep in a while. Maybe it was the relief of telling someone. Part of you had still been back home with Cole and now that you’d told somebody about it, you felt fully here and completely safe. You could finally let your guard down.

You had a morning shift today and so you were out of bed and in the coffee shop by six, thankful for the already hot pot of coffee Jill had made.

“Lily told me you’ve been getting on with Clint.” Jill smiled as you sipped your coffees and waited for the first customer of the day. 

“Yeah, he’s friendly. Nice.” You smiled back.

“He’s a good one that one. I suppose you have to be to be one of them, though. Best customer.”

“Even if he doesn’t pay.”

“He pays enough through what he’s done for our city.” Jill’s voice was firm but not reprimanding and you nodded in understanding.

“Lily also told me that you weren’t in the best of relationships before you came to New York.” Jill noticed your shock at her knowing and smiled. “She didn’t tell me everything. She just wanted me to know in case something happened. Y/N, one thing you have to know about The Cool Bean is that we are a family here, baristas, regulars, one-timers. We want you to know that we are here for you.”

“Thanks, Jill. Telling Clint and Lily last night was a step in the right direction.” You set your now empty coffee cup on the counter and watched as two customers approached the door. “I feel safer already.” You moved to the till, ready to serve the customers but as they got closer, your friendly barista smile trebled into something else.

“Clint!” You beamed, “Didn’t think I’d see you here after all that coffee last night. Figured you were a night owl.”

“Oh, he is, but he also has work.” You turned to the other customer by his side, instantly recognising him to be Tony Stark. “You must be Y/N. Clint told me The Cool Bean had a new face. And you-“ Tony leant to the side to look at Jill. “How’ve you been, angel?” Jill snorted and rolled her eyes, but you saw her grab a bag of coffee from the side and put it in the filter machine. You moved behind the counter, reaching for Clint’s pot and placing it in the other machine.

“Your regular I assume.” Jill said, even though she was making what you assumed to be Tony’s usual.

“You know me well.” Tony moved to the other end of the counter. You hummed to the music playing in the coffee shop as you waited for the coffee to finish brewing, not realising Clint and Tony were watching you carefully.

“Y/N.” Clint called out as you unhooked the pot from machine and made your way over to him, grabbing a mug on your way. “Can we talk to you?” 

You looked at Jill who nodded, handing Tony a cup of whatever his regular was.

“Take a table near the window. If it starts to get busy, I’ll shout you over.” Jill sat back on a stool and you smiled, handing Clint his coffee before grabbing a mug for yourself. You’d gotten close enough to Clint over the past few weeks that he actually, willingly, shared his coffee with you which, according to Lily, was a big deal. 

“What’s up?” You poured coffee from Clint’s pot into both your mug and his, wrapping your fingers around the ceramic and letting it warm your hands. 

“I… I thought I’d bring Tony today…” Clint looked down at his own coffee. “I remember what you said about… the picture last night and I just thought… you should meet him.” 

You stared at him in awe, feeling a surge of admiration growing in your heart. You felt yourself tear up and before you could stop yourself, your hand reached out and wrapped around Clint’s forearm, squeezing it appreciatively. 

“Thank you,” You whispered, “For everything, for listening…” Clint smiled sadly at you.

“I just couldn’t stand thinking of what happened. It shouldn’t have happened.” Clint moved his arm so he was now holding your hand, squeezing it comfortingly. You let a tear fall, wiping it away with the sleeve of your sweater. It was silent for a while before Tony cleared his throat. 

“Clint told me he thought it appropriate I meet you and I didn’t question why but…” He trailed off and you knew he was debating whether to press you to tell him what happened. You appreciated his caution around the subject, an approach, in your experience, people rarely took when they found out about your situation. And so, with little hesitation, you told him the story. The same one you’d told Clint. And when you told him about the picture, you teared up again, clearing your throat and sipping your coffee to prevent your voice from breaking.

“I’m… honoured that I could help you through that, Y/N.” Tony was tearing up too and he was leaning closer now, comfortable with your presence. “And if you need anything… anything at all.” He fished into his pocket and produced a black card with a number in gold writing on it. “That’s my personal number… just call. Or visit the tower, we can help you there too.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.” You smiled, honestly still in awe that the man that helped you through so much was sat before you offering even more help. 

“Please it’s Tony.” The three of you settled into a silence that was neither uncomfortable nor awkward but after a while, Clint broke it. 

“We should get going.” He said, pushing his chair back to stand. 

“Would you like a refill?” You lifted up his now empty pot and he shook his head with a sheepish smile.

“I think if I did, I would piss Nat off for the rest of the day. She hates it when I drink too much coffee.”

“Okay well, thank you.” You smiled at Clint before turning to Tony. “Both of you.” And with that, you head around back, emerging behind the counter as the two men shrugged on their coats. 

“What’s his regular?” You asked Jill, nodding to Tony. Jill smiled, taking the bag of mysterious coffee labelled ‘Tony’s’ and peeling back the label to reveal the word ‘Decaffinated’.

“Tony has anxiety and doesn’t sleep well. For a while, he snuck in here to drink all our caffeinated coffee behind Pepper’s back but she convinced us to get a ‘special’ blend in for Tony that’s actually decaf… just so he’s safe.” Jill smiled sadly and you watched Tony shrug on his scarf and fix his glasses on his forehead. It was the first time that you realised they weren’t just superheroes, but humans too. You were truly inspired that a man would put everyone else’s problems before his own, glad you had picked such a man as your hero.

You began serving another customer that had walked in, your barista smile back on your face and as you were making their coffee, you heard Tony call out your name.

“You were right, by the way…” He said, door held open as Clint waited outside in the street. “Steve and I… we wouldn’t have treated you that way.” 

\---

It was around a week after you met Tony that you got the phone call that made your heart drop. It was your mother and you’d answered cheerily, eager to tell her about the day you met Tony and how good you were doing in New York. 

But her tone as you told her these things and her lack of excitement made you nervous.

“What’s wrong?” There had been no response at first. Just the crackle of the silence on the other line. 

“He’s out of jail.” She finally said and although her voice was quiet, her words deafened you. You collapsed onto the rug of your living room with a thud, legs giving way as the anxiety set in. “His father…” She didn’t need to expand. She knew. His father was a lawyer. Had everyone in the town in his pocket. It’d been something you worried about before but now it was reality, your lungs closed in and you covered your mouth to muffle the sobs. 

Your mother had tried to calm you. And you had led her to believe it had worked. But when she hung up the phone and you were left in the silence of your apartment, you began to panic. You saw him in the shadows. In the mirror. You felt his eyes staring into you and you felt your skin crawl with anticipation. You paced around your apartment, every light on until finally, you shrugged on your coat and ran out the door. You weren’t aware of where you were heading until you were in the reception of Stark tower, staring at a woman with wide eyes. You were out of breath, panting and you felt salty tears flowing down your face and running into your open mouth.

“Are you okay, honey?” The woman leaned over the counter but you just continued to sob.

“Tony… s-said… if I needed help… c-come he-here.” Your words were barely intelligible between your sobs and the way you covered your mouth with a shaky head.

“Honey… I can’t let you in unless you have an appointment… do you have an app-“

“Y/N?” You turned at the familiarity of the voice, almost collapsing with relief when you saw Clint in the doorway, coffee pot in hand and an intense look of worry on his face. When he noticed your shaking body and tear stained cheeks he rushed over, placing the coffee pot on the counter and taking your arms in his. He crouched to your height, searching your eyes and finding only fear.

“What happened?”

“I-Tony…” Was all you managed but Clint nodded, gently guiding you to an elevator. Once inside, you allowed yourself to fall against Clint’s frame, his arms wrapping around you protectively as you calmed yourself. 

You reached the penthouse in no time and the doors opened to a living room of sorts. A group of people were sat on the couches, laughing and drinking but all heads turned to Clint when they heard footsteps. You should have been in awe at the company Tony kept. But you couldn’t bring yourself to think about that now and instead you looked helplessly to Tony.

Immediately, Tony stood, striding across the room and glancing worriedly at Clint who shrugged. 

“Do you need help?” Tony’s voice was calm and soothing yet urgent, letting you know he was here for you, right now. You nodded in response, wiping your eyes and standing straight.

“I’m sorry… it’s just… I didn’t know who else to come to.” Your voice broke and Tony immediately wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leading you away from the people and into another room, one that looked like an office. He sat you on a sofa, perching beside you before reaching to grab some tissues from a nearby side table. You took them gratefully, dabbing your eyes and blowing your nose until you felt a little calmer.

“He was let out.” Your voice was weak and defeated. 

“Cole?” Tony looked dead straight in your eyes and you nodded, watching his emotions change from shock to pity to anger in a matter of seconds. 

“I was hoping that you could keep tabs on him… I just… can’t sleep without knowing he’s far away.” You looked down, feeling guilty for asking this.

“Of course.” Tony immediately replied, not wasting a minute even thinking about the response, reaffirming your belief that Tony Stark was a hero. “I’ll get security set up in your apartment and I’ll have JARVIS monitoring his moves. If he leaves the state he’s in, you’ll come straight her and stay in the tower until you’re safe.”

“Thank you, Tony.” You breathed a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how grateful I am for all of this. You’ve done so much already.”

“This is nothing, Y/N, trust me.” He lay his hand over yours and the shaking subsided, a warmth and safety replacing it. “Is there anything else you need me to do?” 

You shook your head but didn’t move to leave, feeling that you need a few minutes to collect yourself before getting up to go. Tony didn’t question it and sat with you, hand rested on yours until finally, you let out a loud exhale and wiped your now red eyes again.

He stood with you and you pulled him into a hug, squeezing him slightly before pulling back and giving him a warm smile.

“Thank you, again, really.” You followed him out of the room, looking up at him. Tony just smiled at you. 

“Do you want to stay for a while? Until you feel a little calmer?” Tony asked, gesturing to the group on the sofas. You pursed your lips, noticing the company and instantly feeling intimidated and yet safer than you’d ever felt. It was mainly a group of unknown people, but you recognised four of them besides Clint. One, Pepper Potts, Tony’s girlfriend who smiled amiably at you from her position on the couch. One was Bruce Banner, sitting picking the label of his beer bottle nervously, not looking up at you. One was James Rhodes, Tony Stark’s best friend and colleague. 

And the final one, made your heart unintentionally skip a beat and swoon. Steve Rogers. Captain America. He was looking at you with a mix of interest and concern, leaning over the back of the sofa so he could look at you intently. It made you blush and Tony noticed with a smile.

“I would feel safer.” You glanced up at Tony who beamed before Clint jumped up, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you to his side. You chuckled at his fondness, letting him pull you to the couch, seating you between him and Steve. You tried not to react when your thigh brushed against Steve’s when you sat but you glanced at him nervously. 

“Y/N.” You held your hand out to him to shake, turning your body a little to face him. Steve looked at you for a second before he smiled. 

“Steve.” And when your hands touched, you swear you felt a heat coursing through your veins. Like suddenly, you were hooked up to an IV drip of coffee and you never wanted to be unhooked.


	3. Flat White

**“It's just like when you've got some coffee that's too black, which means it's too strong. What do you do? You integrate it with cream, you make it weak. But if you pour too much cream in it, you won't even know you ever had coffee. It used to be hot, it becomes cool. It used to be strong, it becomes weak. It used to wake you up, now it puts you to sleep.” – Malcom X**

\--- 

If it had been a cliché love story, you would have been invited to the tower for every following party. You would have got drunk one night and confessed your feelings for Captain America and then he would have swooped you off your feet and carried you off into the sunset. 

But this wasn’t a cliché love story. This was your life. And instead, for the next few weeks, you went back to normal. You sat with Clint of an evening in The Cool Bean and talked about life. You served Tony his ‘special blend’ in a takeaway cup every other morning. You didn’t see Steve again. 

You had clicked at the gathering you had crashed. You conversed politely with him just as you had the others and you tried to forget about the warmth of his touch for the rest of the night. Maybe it was cowardly to ignore it. Maybe somebody more courageous would have done something. But maybe it just wasn’t the right time. And you were okay with that.

Tony was true to his word, however, and the day after the gathering, he sent round a bunch of tech guys from Stark Industries to fit security systems in your apartment. It was probably over the top but now you could see who was on the other side of the door from the shelter of your bedroom, you felt safe. Now that you had your own personal mini JARVIS (an AI you affectionately named SAL after one of your favourite films, 2001: Space Odyssey), you could even get through daily life with a little help. Good ol’ SAL reminded you when to go to sleep in order to have a decent night’s rest. It told you when your food was done in the oven. It played music in your showers. It was a godsend.

It eased your mind a little. But there was still no denying the fear that lay beneath the layers of security and technology that he could just break through all that and get to you. And there was nothing you could do to stop him. 

That all changed when you met another Avenger. 

The atmosphere in the coffee shop was always bubbly. The music always acoustic and happy, encouraging a friendly attitude and amiable conversation between the people ordering coffee and the people serving it. But even as the happy music played, you couldn’t help but feel the shift when the bell rang. You put it down to an off comment, made by someone somewhere that caused a ripple effect as you made a coffee, chatting away to Lily quietly. You didn’t know Lily wasn’t listening though, frozen to the floor as she watched Jill take someone’s orders.

“I appreciate everything Tony has done,” you were whispering as you frothed milk. “But I still feel defenceless. Like, what if I wasn’t in my apartment when he came around? What if he came here? What would I do then?” you tried not to let the stress seep into your voice. You were just looking for friendly advice.

“Do you know self-defence?” The voice didn’t belong to Lily and you whirled around, coffee in hand to identify the speaker. You recognised the person instantly, mainly from the pictures Clint showed you of the woman around his children. 

Natasha Romanoff. 

You shook your head, sliding the coffee you had just made into the hands of the customer who had ordered it. They took it gratefully before scurrying away. You weren’t sure if it was from you or Nat.

“You really should know some.” Natasha’s eyes moved from yours to Jill who was making a coffee that you assumed to be hers. You studied her carefully for a moment. She was undeniably beautiful, intimidatingly so. And she carried an air of confidence that exuded a ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe. As you noticed that, you realised why the atmosphere had changed. These people were scared of her. 

For all those reasons, you understood why. But then you thought back to the pictures Clint had shown you. Of her with his wife and kids, arms wrapped protectively around the children as they posed for a photograph. 

“Show me.” The words escaped your lips before you could fully process what you were saying. You were asking a deadly assassin to help you learn how to kick an ex-boyfriend in the nuts. Why the hell would she say yes?

She looked at you for a moment and noticed your nervous stance. She tried to figure out if it was her that was making you nervous but when she remembered the conversation you had been having with the barista before, she realised that maybe you were just nervous in general. 

“Natasha.” Jill called her attention away from you as she approached the counter. “Your flat white.” Nat shot the older woman a smile, taking the cup gratefully before turning back to you.

“After your shift, head to the tower. You finish at three, right?” She nodded at you and your eyes widened. How did she know that? She noticed your shock and nodded to the back wall where a whiteboard hung with staff times.

“I have a good eye.” She smiled with a wink and you found yourself smiling back. “Thanks, Jill.” And with that she was waltzing out of the coffee shop, taking the change in atmosphere with her. When the door clicked shut, Jill and Lily let out a collective sigh of relief.

“What?” You frowned, moving to clean the countertop.

“She doesn’t scare you?” Lily scoffed, leaning on the counter as if that brief two-minute interaction with Natasha had exhausted her. You frowned, thinking it over.

“She’s intimidating, yes. But you remember the pictures Clint showed us. And his stories. She doesn’t scare me.” You shrugged, and Lily looked at you in disbelief.

“She could still rip my head off my shoulders without batting an eyelid!” Lily threw her arms in the air and you laughed, shaking your head at her overdramatic assumption.

“Nat is a sweetheart. Scary. But a sweetheart.” Jill agreed with you, gesturing for you to move to the till to serve the next customer. 

\---

You were surprisingly not nervous for your training session with Natasha. Lily pestered you about it throughout your shift and when Greg arrived to take over your shift, he was equally as annoying.

“It’s just a self-defence class.” You sighed, removing your apron and handing it to Greg.

“Yeah from the scariest woman on the planet.” Greg muttered, leaning against the wall as you shrugged on your coat and grabbed your bag. 

“You’re just intimidated by the fact that such a beautiful woman could have you on your back begging for your life in seconds.” You made your way out of the café, hearing Greg scoff behind you.

“Uh, duh?!” 

You chuckled, sending the staff a wave before exiting the café and joining the crowds on the street. This time, instead of anxiously weaving through, you fell into its rhythm, smiling proudly to yourself as it became almost second nature. You expertly departed from the crowd, turning into the reception of the tower. 

“You’re late.” You turned your head to see Natasha sat in one of the reception chairs, legs crossed and arms folded on her lap. You nearly gulped in fear but smiled when you saw the playful smirk on her face. Glancing up at the clock above her head, you noted the time was barely a few minutes past three and you rolled your eyes.

“Come on, training room is this way.” She stood and lead you past the reception towards the elevator, pressing the button for the basement.

“I don’t have any workout gear.” You broke the comfortable silence. Natasha just shrugged.

“We have some.” And with that the doors opened, revealing a large training area. It was light and bright considering it was in a basement and you realised it was because above, the entire floor was glass, above what looked like an outdoor swimming pool.

“Wow…” you breathed, taking in the surroundings. There were people training on gym equipment, but you weren’t focused on that, instead admiring the state of the art facilities and tech. 

“We’ll use the ring over there,” Nat pointed to a boxing ring before pointing to a door on your left. “The changing rooms are there.” As you turned, you felt her put something in your arms, looking down to see training gear – leggings, a t-shirt and trainers.

“The leggings are mine, t-shirt I snagged from the laundry and the trainers are one of the agents.” You smiled gratefully at her, heading into the changing room to change. Your hair was already tied in plaits for work, so you didn’t have to worry about that. 

With a deep breath, you exited the changing room, your stuff left in a locker, and approached the boxing ring. As you did however, you noticed Nat was talking to someone, that someone having their back turned away from you completely. 

But you could tell who they were just from their back. Their broad shoulders and muscular biceps…

“Y/N,” Natasha broke you out of your trance, gesturing for you to climb into the ring. “Let’s get started.”

“That’s my shirt,” Steve’s deep voice caused you to turn and look at him before glancing down at the shirt. It had a logo on from what looked to be a veterans group and you frowned. 

“Sorry,” You tugged at the bottom of it, silently thanking yourself for wearing a sports bra today as you pulled the fabric over your head.

“No, it’s fine-“ Steve protested but you just smiled at him, placing the fabric in his hands. Natasha raised here eyebrows at the two of you before clapping her hands.

“I’m just going to show you some basic moves okay? I’ll demonstrate them on Steve and then you do the same.” She instructed, and you nodded your head in understanding.

“Hey I didn’t sign up for thi-“

“Shut up, Rogers,” Natasha nudged him in the side. “Grab my hair.” He narrowed his eyes at her before complying, wrapping his hand around her ponytail. 

“Now, what you need to do is, lift your arm up, wrap it around his arm and then link your hands like this,” You watched her demonstrate the move, hands on your hips and teeth chewing your lip as you concentrated. “Then move this hand to his jugular, move this leg behind his, and then sweep it and knock him to the ground.” She did it slowly and you knew Steve wouldn’t have budged ordinarily, but for demonstrations sake, he fell to the floor, Natasha hovering over him. 

“Okay now I’ll show you it at full speed and you can practice.” She held her hand out to Steve who took it gratefully, even though he probably didn’t need helping up. She repeated the move again at full speed and this time you knew that she had actually knocked Steve off his feet as he grunted when his back hit the floor. 

“Your turn.” You approached Steve cautiously as he stood, readying himself. His hands gently grasped one of your plaits and you took a breath, remembering the steps. Natasha stood opposite you, arms crossed. “Slowly first.”

Steve tugged a little on your hair and you pursed your lips, lifting your arm up and wrapping it around his bicep. You tried not to focus on how strong his bicep felt, and you ignored thoughts of squeezing it as you linked your hands together. Slowly, you lifted your hand to his jugular, holding his neck gently. You felt him gulp. You kicked your leg out, sweeping it against his and he faked falling backwards, landing on the floor with a gentle thud. You looked up at Nat who nodded with a small smile.

“Good. Just remember, right now you don’t have to hit him so hard in the neck but in a real situation you can really hit him.” She gestured towards Steve’s neck in a chopping motion and he flinched a little, making you giggle. “Let’s try again. Faster this time.”

You tried the move a couple more times before moving on to how escape a back choke hold. 

“This one’s pretty simple,” Nat moved in front of Steve as his arm wrapped around her neck. “Now immediately, close your chin.” She moved her chin so it was pressed against her chest, preventing Steve from choking her too hard. “Grab his arms and step to the side, then move your arm back and punch him in the groin,” she did it slowly, not actually touching Steve. “He’s going to curl up a bit behind you and reach for that arm but when he does that, elbow up and in his nose.” She demonstrated the movement, always careful not to actually touch Steve. She repeated the move again faster and then it was your turn.

You tried not to focus on the heat of Steve’s body against your back, but you were sure he could feel your heart racing. You copied Natasha’s instructions slowly, closing your chin, gripping his forearm, stepping to the side, fist to the groin, elbow to the face. She clapped at your attempt before telling you to do it faster. This time, when Steve closed his arm around your neck, you felt his breath on your skin and it made you gasp slightly. Choosing to ignore it again, you did the moves faster, fist hitting his thigh instead of his groin except this time, when his hand moved down to grab yours and you lifted your elbow, you heard the crack of bone against bone as your elbow met his cheek. 

Steve grunted in pain and you quickly stepped out of his hold, turning to face him with your hands covering your mouth with surprise.

“Well done!” Natasha’s voice was jovial, but you couldn’t match her excitement. Instinctively, you reached out, placing your hand on Steve’s arm as he rubbed his cheek.

“I am so sorry,” you frantically looked at his cheek, relaxing only slightly when Steve smiled down at you.

“It’s fine, darlin’, don’t worry.” Steve’s voice was level and soothing as he noted your nervousness. “Nice hit.”

You had been more careful for the rest of the session, learning another three moves before Nat decided to call it a day.

“You did well,” she complimented as you climbed out of the ring, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Steve handed you a water bottle which you took with a small thank you, gulping down the liquid eagerly. “If that asshole tries to mess with you, he’ll get what’s coming to him.” Steve frowned at Nat’s comment but didn’t press it.

“I’m gonna go back to training,” he stated before putting a hand on your shoulder. “You did good.” 

You looked up at him in awe, stuttering out a thank you before he jogged over to a punching bag and began wrapping his hands.

“You want to meet again tomorrow? You finish at six yeah?” You glanced at her as you both began walking to the changing room.

“How the hell,” you muttered, laughing to yourself before you nodded. “Yeah sure. Here at six?”

For the next week, you trained with Natasha every day, learning basic self-defence moves. Steve hadn’t been in the gym for these sessions since the first time and so instead, you had practiced on whatever poor soul Nat roped into joining you. They were always terrified and a little part of you hoped that they weren’t only afraid of Natasha’s strength, but your own. 

You grew close to Nat and you were proud to say you were right about her. Sure, she was intimidating, but she was also an amazing person. She was easy to joke with and you and her shared banter as you tackled people to the floor. She was comforting and understanding whenever Cole was brought up. And most of all, she was the most encouraging force in your life right now. She motivated you to do better, to push harder and to hold your own. It instilled a fight in you that you didn’t know you could have.

She started dropping by the café after your training sessions, ordering a flat white and leaning on the counter, chatting to you and the other Baristas. Lily and Greg had been terrified at first, but soon they saw what you saw in her and she became just like Clint and Tony – a part of the family.

Today, you finished work at three and as soon as Greg showed up to take over, you threw your apron at him and left the shop, eager to get to class. Nat was waiting for you in the gym when you arrived, stood in the ring. You froze at the figure stood as your sparring partner for the day. 

Steve.

“Wanted to show the old man how good you’d been getting, Y/N/N.” Nat called as you climbed into the ring, standing by her side. Steve smirked at you.

“I’ve heard rumours that you’re getting nearly as good as Black Widow herself.” You felt your heart skip at his compliment and your skin heated up. Biting your lip, you turned to Natasha.

“What are we trying today?” You asked, and she smirked, as if you’d regret asking. She demonstrated what you’d be attempting, and you watched in amazement. It looked complex and you were unsure of how you could possibly replicate it. Steve shoved Natasha and she stepped backwards before she launched herself in the air, spinning once before kicking her legs up, her right leg reaching out and kicking what would have been Steve’s head had he not moved out the way at the last second. You couldn’t help but let your jaw fall to the floor as you watched the move and Nat smirked.

“Just thought we’d have a little fun,” she shrugged before giving you the pointers on how to execute it. You listened intently, dreading the moment you had to try it for yourself but eventually, Nat stood you before Steve and it was your turn.

You failed multiple times. You didn’t think you had the momentum to get yourself that high. Nat never stopped encouraging though, pushing you when you could take it and reassuring you when you needed it. After each try, you took a few seconds, catching your breath before nodding your head.

“Again.”

You were sure Steve hated you by the end of it. You’d kicked his shin, his thigh, his torso, his back. Anywhere but his head like you were supposed to. But each time you said again, he was stood before you ready to take another hit. 

“Come on, Y/L/N. You can do it.” You muttered to yourself as you stood up for what felt like the hundredth time, ready to go again. This time, before you started, you shut your eyes, took a deep breath and focused on what you had to do. 

As you launched yourself in the air, you smiled, instantly feeling this felt good. You spun before kicking out your leg, knowing you were reaching head height. What you didn’t expect was for your foot to actually collide with Steve’s head, causing him to grunt in pain and stumble backwards. You landed and cursed when you saw Steve clutching his cheek. You rushed over to his crouched body, ignoring Nat’s applause as you held his cheek in your hand.

“Why didn’t you move away!” You shouted at him, causing him to chuckle and then wince as it moved his aching face. 

“I was so amazed that you were doing it!” Steve muttered, locking his jaw and standing straight. “You did it!” He cheered, and you laughed, curtseying to the cheers that Nat encouraged from the semi-crowded gym. 

“Again.” You smirked, looking directly at Steve’s smiling face as you repeated the move another three times, this time with Steve moving his head away at the last second. Nat watched proudly on before clapping her hands after the third try.

“Okay, I think we’re done for today. Y/n, coffee?” She asked, and you nodded, patting Steve on the shoulder as you climbed out of the ring, following Nat to the changing room. Steve watched you go with a small smile, actually impressed by your development. He hadn’t notice Clint climbing into the ring, nudging him to break the trance.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Clint wiggled his eyebrows and Steve scoffed, shoving the archer a little before climbing out of the ring and heading to the changing rooms. 

\---

“Hey, Nat,” you received a hum from the shower in response. “I’ll meet you in the reception!” You called, and she shouted an okay back. You clicked your neck, stretching your aching legs as you grabbed your belongings from the locker and head out of the room. You checked your phone as you did, looking down at your notifications so you didn’t notice when you collided with someone’s chest. 

“Ouch,” you muttered as the person steadied you by gripping onto your arms. You looked up, instantly recognising the blue eyes of Steve Rogers staring down at you. 

“Hey you, alright?” Steve smiled down at you. You faltered for a second, lost in his eyes and the scent of his body lotion. He’d just taken a shower and his hair was wet, dripping onto the floor between you.

“Yeah, sorry. Wasn’t looking.” You mumbled. Steve watched your lips move, as if under a spell by their softness. He leaned closer, causing you to suck in a breath of shock and stand dead still. He didn’t know what he was doing, he just kept getting closer, his hands pulling you towards him. And then, something in him clicked and his lips were against yours, the pressure soft and gentle. 

You didn’t respond. How could you? What the hell was happening? One minute you had been talking and the next his lips were on yours. You stood frozen to the spot and Steve noticed, pulling away quickly and stepping away from you.

“I’m sorry…” he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head before stalking down the corridor, leaving you staring after him in complete shock. 

“Hey, Y/N. Thought you were waiting for me in reception.” Nat’s voice broke you out of your trance and you looked at her with wide eyes. She smirked at you nudging your side as you made your way silently out the building

“What’s wrong, Cap got your tongue.” Her words made you cough and snap your head to her.

“What did you say?” Your voice was shaky, and Nat laughed. 

“I asked, cat got your tongue?” She repeated with a smirk. You didn’t know if it was a knowing smirk or not, so you just gulped and turned away.


	4. Espresso

**“Espresso consumption is an aesthetic experience, like tasting a vintage wine or admiring a painting. It is a search for beauty and goodness for improving the quality of our life.” – Andrea Illy**

\---

“You kissed her!” Natasha’s voice filled the compound, making the rowing machine handle slip from Steve’s hands and crash against the machine with a loud noise. He squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing them with his thumb and forefinger before spinning on the seat to face Nat. 

She stood before him, arms crossed, Tony and Clint by her side.

“I just… it felt right like the right thing to do before I did it.” Steve muttered, scratching the back of his head. Nat rolled her eyes, throwing her arms out to the side. 

“Well you were wrong, it was very wrong. You go up to her and say ‘hey, I think you’re great, wanna grab a coffee?’ and then she’ll say ‘sure, meet me at the coffee house at six’” Nat gestured with each hand like a sock puppet, voice raising in volume. “Then you go to the coffee shop, talk a little then you ask ‘can I kiss you?’ and she’ll say ‘yes’ and then you kiss her. YOU HAVE TO ASK, ROGERS. THIS ISN’T THE 1940’S.” She was erratic now, nearly tearing her hair out. The sock puppets and morphed into fists that she shook with anger. Clint placed his hand on her shoulder to calm her.

“Breathe, Nat,” Clint kept his voice level but his steely glare in Steve’s direction indicated that he felt the same. “You don’t understand how badly that could have gone, Steve.”

“You’re lucky she didn’t hit you.” Tony shook his head in disappointment. “Y/N’s fragile, Steve, especially when it comes to this. You can’t…” he struggled to formulate words, pausing to calm himself before he turned into an angry Nat. “You need to apologise. What in the hell were you thinking, Steve?” 

Steve sat in silence, looking at his hands. He hadn’t been thinking. Not clearly. He just saw you and saw something he hadn’t seen in a long time. A gentle soul and a full heart. Something that pulled him back to reality. Back to humanity. It tugged on his heartstrings and begged him to bring you closer. And he had done that in the only way that seemed natural at the time. He kissed you. 

He knew now it was a mistake. He should’ve asked. He should’ve told you all of the things he saw in you. But he hadn’t and as a result, he had made a fool out of himself.

“I’ll go to the shop today.” He finally said, standing from the machine and fixing the handle back in its holder. Natasha nodded at him, folding her arms over her chest again.

“And if you want to kiss her-“

“I’ll ask, I know,” Steve threw his towel over his shoulder and took long and quick strides into the changing room to take a shower.

\---

“Bye, Jill,” you called to your boss as you hitched your bag on your shoulder, ready to finish for the day.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N. Thanks for your help with the finances,” she furrowed her brows. “Sorry I kept you later than usual.” She smiled sadly but you just shook your head, telling her it had been no problem. You had been assistant manager at your old place and helped with the accounting side of things as the manager was considerably older. 

You made your way through the back room, saying goodbye to Lily and Greg before leaving. As you closed the door, you noticed someone leaning on the dumpster, head hung and legs crossed over each other.

“Steve?” Your voice made his head snap up. He pushed himself off the dumpster, standing straight and clearing his throat.

“Nat said you finished at three,” his voice was so quiet and full of nerves that you couldn’t help but smile. 

“Usually. I just had to help Jill with something,” you explained, biting your lip at the long silence that followed. “Did you want something?”

“Yes, uh… coffee!” he shouted and you giggled. “I mean, would you like… to get coffee… with me and uh talk…. Coffee and talk.” You chuckled again before nodding.

“Sure. Follow me.” You smiled, leading him round to the front of The Cool Bean before opening the door for him. He entered the shop and couldn’t help but smile at the appearance and vibe. It was warm and welcoming. It felt like home. And when he looked at you again, he knew it was yours. 

“Y/N! Back so soon?” Greg called from the counter and you smiled, approaching with Steve trailing behind. “Your usual?” He asked, and you nodded, turning to Steve.

“What’s your poison?” 

“Uh, Espresso… please.” Greg nodded, glancing sideways at you with a look of intrigue which you chose to ignore. Steve stood quietly beside you as you waited for your drinks. It was awkward, no one could deny that. Even the other baristas felt it and were silent whilst making your drinks, glancing nervously at the two of you. Eventually, after what felt like forever, Greg placed your two drinks on the counter with a smile. 

“How much?” Steve asked, pulling out his wallet but you just smiled, taking the coffee and heading towards a table in a shadowed corner. Steve frowned, looking to Greg who just shook his head, moving on to the next customer. You sipped your drink as Steve stirred his espresso slowly, the clink of his spoon against the cup the only sound. 

“So…” you bravely said, looking down at your coffee and letting your hair cover your face. Steve took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry about… yesterday. I shouldn’t have been so… imposing.” He settled on, sipping his espresso and letting the strong coffee cover his tongue. It tasted delicious, sweet and yet still bitter, the darkness filling his senses and warming his insides. 

“It’s okay,” you smiled up at him. “It was a little… forward but, I’m not mad.” 

It was silent again and you took another gulp of coffee, Steve watching you carefully. 

“Still… I should have asked or… explained,” Steve said, smiling at you in a way that made your heart skip. 

“You should have,” you were surprised at how playful your tone sounded and he grinned back. Both of you leaned closer a little, the steam of your coffees heating your cheeks and the smell invading your senses. “Next time, ask first.” 

Steve processed your words, realising you were implying you wanted a next time and his smile widened. He took a sip of his espresso again, finishing the small cup and placing it down without his eyes leaving yours. 

“Okay…” he nodded, letting a silence fall over you again. “Can I kiss you?” 

Your heart skipped at his words and you couldn’t help the cheesy smile that lit up your face. You didn’t answer him verbally but closed the space between you, leaning over the table and pressing your lips to his. You tasted the strong coffee on his lips and instinctively your tongue reached out to taste more. Steve nearly gasped when he felt you lick his lip but instead, pressed his lips harder against yours, hand moving to the base of your neck to keep you there. 

What was seconds felt like forever, a life time of tasting the coffee on each other’s lips and tongues but eventually you parted, eyes fluttering open as you stayed no further than a couple of inches apart. He was transfixed by the glow in your eyes, his hand still on the nape of your neck.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” you teased, finally sitting back in your chair as Steve retreated into his own, his hand sliding away from you to rest on the table.

“I guess not.”

\---

It was secret at first. It was Steve dropping by the coffee shop when he knew you were the one shutting shop. He would slip in the door and, shadowed by the dimmed lights and dark outdoors. He’d get an espresso and you would make it along with your usual, leaning across the counter as you talked, faces close. Somehow it would always end with his lips against yours, enjoying the taste of lingering coffee, strong and yet soft. 

It was pulling you aside after a training session with Nat to tell you how nice you looked nice today, pressing a kiss against your lips in a hidden corner of the gym. It was waiting for you outside the back exit of the shop when your morning shift finished to walk you back to your apartment, kissing you goodbye. 

The kisses were always soft and loving, like it was just natural that he was doing so. Like it was a normal thing to do. And yet you never discussed it. It was never brought up with the team. It was never brought up with the staff at The Cool Bean. Because you didn’t know what it was. 

Maybe that’s what both of you needed. At least that’s what you convinced yourself. It had been barely half a year since you’d left Cole and you weren’t sure you were ready for a commitment. And Steve was still figuring out the world around him. How could you expect him to tie himself to you like that? 

And yet, in the back of your mind, particularly whenever you felt his soft lips against yours, there was always the thought. Maybe I’m never going to get over Cole completely. And Steve is never going to completely figure out the world around him because who can? So why hold back? 

But a thought was never enough. A thought was never enough to risk losing the safety you felt with him around. And yet, you knew at some point, whether it be because you wanted more or because of something else, this bubble would have to burst eventually

That bubble burst one day when you were working one morning. Tony came in to get a cup of his special. You’d served him with a beaming smile, immediately making his coffee without hesitation. 

“You seem happy,” he commented as you brought his coffee over in a to-go cup. You just shrugged, unable to remove the smile from your face. He hung around for a minute, talking to you about your job, your life, your mother. You thanked him again, for possibly the millionth time, for the security and he told you, possibly for the millionth time, that it was the least he could do and then he stood straight, ready to leave.

“Before I go, I just wanted to invite you to a party we are having tomorrow night,” Tony said, sipping his coffee. 

“Oh, what’s the occasion?” You asked, leaning on the counter. 

“Farewell party,” Tony smiled sadly. “Natasha and Steve are moving to Washington.”

Nobody could miss the way your expression changed in an instant. Your happiness replaced with shock and heartbreak. Not once had Steve mentioned this.

“Nat really wanted you to be there,” Tony frowned at your disappointment and you tried to compose yourself, smiling once again but Tony noted how it didn’t reach your eyes.

“Of course. I’ll be there,” your voice was quiet, lacking the enthusiasm and joy it once had. Tony tried not to think about it too much and stepped away from the counter.

“See you tomorrow, kid.” And with that, he turned and left. You watched him leave, stuck to the spot as you saw him getting smaller and smaller as he walked down the street. 

Steve was leaving. And why should it matter? What were you anyway? Nothing. This shouldn’t have meant anything to you and yet… your heart shattered like a coffee cup had slipped through your hands and fallen onto a concrete floor. And god damn did it burn.

\---

Steve wasn’t waiting for you outside at the end of your shift like usual and it meant your entire walk home, you were left to your thoughts. Had he known all along? That he was leaving? Was that why it never became something more? Or had he just found out? 

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t see Steve leant up against your apartment building, waiting for you. You walked past him, and he frowned, calling out your name but receiving no response. He grabbed your arm and you jumped, instantly reacting with a self-defence move Natasha had taught you that resulted in a swift blow to Steve’s nose.

“Shit, Steve!” you gasped, covering your mouth with your hands as Steve chuckled.

“Still got the moves, darlin’,” he chuckled but you didn’t laugh with him. He looked up at you and knew that someone must have told you about Washington.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You kept your voice steady and tried to make it sound disinterested. Steve chewed his lip.

“I didn’t know how. I’m sorry.” You shrugged, turning away from him and making your way to your door.

“It’s your job isn’t it. And it’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything,” you didn’t look him in the eyes when you said this, afraid your expression would betray you. “You didn’t owe me an explanation.” You pushed the door open and Steve reached out to you, his arm grasping for yours but missing it when you slipped through the door.

“Y/N-“

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.” And with that, you disappeared into the building, leaving him without a kiss for the first time in weeks.

\---

The party was small. Consisting of a few agents and the Avengers themselves. You came late, having only finished work at 8pm and you took an hour to dress. But that didn’t mean you weren’t eager to catch up to the level of drunk everyone else seemed to be getting. 

Natasha clung to your side as soon as you walked in the room, dragging you to the bar and sliding behind it. She poured out shots of what was presumably Vodka and you eagerly downed them.

“I’m gonna miss you,” she slurred, watching you down the fifth and final shot with your eyes squeezed shut. You pouted at her, waiting for her to join you this side of the bar before pulling her to your side.

“Who’s going to teach me to kick ass when you’re gone?” You fake wailed, causing Natasha to giggle and press a kiss your forehead.

“You don’t need my help with that, anymore sweetie. You’re doing a pretty good job of it by yourself nowadays.” 

You avoided Steve all night, despite noticing his stare as you made your way around the room, laughing with Clint, Natasha and Tony. He couldn’t get drunk and he stared down at his seventh beer, wishing it could fix the ache he felt in his heart. He wanted to tell you how he felt. He wanted to tell you he didn’t want to leave you. But part of him knew he wasn’t ready to settle yet. There was so much he needed to learn… so much he needed to fix. He couldn’t be the person you needed. 

That made his heart ache even more. 

By the end of the night, you had stuck around. Not by choice, mainly because Natasha wouldn’t let you go, pulling you close to her every time you suggested leaving. And so, it had resulted in you joining the Avengers and a few other stragglers on the large collection of sofas, talking about life. 

Topic turned to you and you felt embarrassed as they complimented your barista skills, showering you with affection and appreciation.

“What’s the big deal, it’s just coffee?” An agent you didn’t really know mentioned and everyone including you scoffed at the comment. You instantly felt the need to defend your baby.

“You can tell a lot about a person from the coffee they drink.” 

“Oh yeah? What can you tell from us then.” Clint smiled, leaning back on the sofa and twirling a pair of drumsticks around his fingers. 

“You… have an addictive personality.” You pointed at the archer dramatically, raising an eyebrow and Clint laughed, nodding in agreement. “But you are also quite reserved, you like to go off-the-grid and you can be moody.”

“Very true.” Nat nodded, sipping her beer. Clint shot her a glare.

“But, when you are extroverted, you do it full force. You’re loud and boisterous. Like a kid.” You shrugged, and Clint narrowed his eyes at you.

“You got all that from a mug of coffee?” Clint raised an eyebrow and you let out a scoff.

“A pot of coffee, Clint.”

“Do me! Do me!” Tony squealed, turning to glare at Clint when he snickered. 

"Oh Tony..." Even drunk you somehow knew you couldn't reveal what his decaf cup of coffee meant to him. "I can't do you, you have that special blend."

"That just means he's special." Pepper leaned and kissed him on the cheek, causing Tony to grin like a child. 

"What about me?" Natasha asked, placing her beer down on the counter and leaning forward.

"You're a mix... you're organised and straight forward. You have goals and you reach them. But you're also messy and wild. You don't follow the rules necessarily. Hence the milk."

"Interesting..." there was a silence as she pondered your words and then she smiled, turning to Steve.

"What about him? What do you even order, Rogers?"

"Espresso." You said quickly, not thinking. You felt yourself heat up with embarrassment at your eagerness to answer and Steve watched with a twinkle in his eye that urged you to go on.

"Well... an espresso drinker is someone that's wise... they've experienced a lot of life."

"You mean they're old." Tony cut in, earning a low chuckle from the rest of the group. You let yourself smile but didn't turn away from Steve.

"They're good leaders. Hard workers. They’re stubborn and have strong morals. And when they know what they want, they'll do whatever they have to do to get it." You looked straight into his eyes as you said it, feeling the interest peak. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looked at you.

"And what is it that espresso drinkers want?" His voice was low. You swore you heard a hint of suggestion beneath there that made your heart beat a little faster and your brain falter. So, you pursed your lip, turning to the group who were watching with amusement. You tipped your glass a little in an almost salute.

"That you can't tell from a cup of coffee."

Everyone laughed but the tension hung in the air and you cleared your throat to lift some of it. 

“I should get going.” You smiled, placing your empty glass on the table before standing, ignoring the sounds of protest that ran through the crowd.

“I’ll walk you out.” The tone of Steve’s voice was hard, sure. Nobody questioned it, not even you and you let his hand rest on your back as he guided you away from the group. You tried not to feel the electricity passing through his hand on your back, but it made your heartrate quicken. Steve heard it thumping.

When you were out in the hallway, Steve quickly stepped in front of you, his hand pushing against your back so you were pressed against him. Your hands landed on his chest to steady yourself, looking up at him with surprise as he looked down at you, eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured, his breath hot against your face. “I… started something and I can’t finish it.” You gulped at his words, focusing on your hands.

“It’s okay… it wasn’t anything really. We were just… companions.” You struggled to find a word.

“Right.” His breath was warmer, and you felt the vibrations of his voice, indicating he had moved closer. You knew if you looked up, his lips would be merely inches from yours and so you kept your eyes on his chest, afraid of what would come. “Can I kiss you?” You felt an increase of pressure on your back and you took a deep breath.

His heartbeat was steady under your hands and it drove yours crazy, like it was frantically trying to match his pace. Your brain fogged, perhaps with alcohol or perhaps with the effect he was having on you. Whichever it was made you give in, lifting your head and letting his lips press against yours.

It was the same as all the other times at first, soft and gentle. But as his tongue darted out to lick your lips, tasting, beneath layers of alcohol, the bitterness of coffee, he moaned. His lips grew harder against yours and you opened your mouth to welcome him, letting him push you back until your back was against the wall. 

“You taste like coffee,” his voice was practically a growl, his lips pressed against yours and your teeth clashing as he spoke. You wanted to respond but before you could, he was kissing you again, hungrily.

He desperately drank you up, eager for the coffee taste to remain, to give him more to remember you by, hoping to whatever god there was that the taste would linger long after he left you. You felt his heart race under your hands and it made your head spin, your hands travelling up over his broad shoulders and tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. 

His hand gripped your waist, and the one that had been on your back travelled to the back of your thigh and hitching it around his waist. He had lost control of his actions. He knew what he was doing and part of him told him to stop. He was leaving tomorrow. This couldn’t happen now. He should stop. But when you moaned into his mouth and tugged his hair harder, the thoughts left him and the only thought left was the word need. 

“Y/N…” he whispered against your lips, reluctant to move them away for a second in case the coffee faded. 

“Please…” was the only word you managed. You had wanted to move on. You had wanted to forget all about him after tonight. But with his lips against yours and his hands over your body, it wasn’t possible. You couldn’t forget about him now, even if you tried, and so he might as well give you something to remember. Steve reacted to your words instantly, pulling your other leg around his waist before he carried you to the elevator. 

When his lips met yours again, you lost all train of thought all together, giving in to whatever your heart wanted. Needed. Letting him carry you into the night as if it was a promise that tomorrow would never come. That he’d be here in your arms forever even if it was impossible. That this was what should be happening. Even if it would feel wrong in the morning. In that moment, nothing else could be more right. 

\---

You don’t know why you expected him to be there in the morning. Your mind was clouded with the fantasy he had promised the night before and when you were awoken by the smell of hot coffee, faint and warm, it had seemed like your dream had come true. But when you opened your eyes to find the side of the bed he’d fallen asleep on empty, you felt the fantasy shatter into a million pieces. 

Blinking, you searched for the coffee, eyes focusing on Tony stood in the doorway. He smiled sadly at you, taking a step into the room as you covered your naked body with the sheet, sitting up against the headboard.”

“Hey, kid,” he perched himself on the bed, handing you the mug. You kept your expression neutral, masking your hurt well. You sipped your coffee in silence for a while, processing the night before. You could tell Tony was itching to ask.

“It was nothing, Tony,” you finally sighed, placing the coffee mug on the bedside table. “We just… needed each other I think.”

“He won’t be back… not for a while,” You knew that but somehow hearing it hurt more.

“I know,” you whispered. “It’s going to be okay.”

You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince Tony or yourself.


	5. Cappuccino

**Beige is atmosphere. It's bisque, it's ivory, it's cream, it's stone, it's toast, it's cappuccino. It’s well, it's magic. – Albert Hadley**

\---

“Your special, as usual,” you smiled at Tony, sliding the large to-go cup of masked decaf over the counter. It had been a year and a half… perhaps more. You still gave Tony what he thought to be his routine buzz, never realising it was a safety net. You still sat through late night coffee binges with Clint and his stories. You still went home to your Stark-secured apartment after a hard day’s work.

That all makes it sound like your life hadn’t progressed. Oh, but it had. Anyone could be tricked into thinking that when Steve and Natasha left, a hole was formed in your life that wouldn’t be filled until their return. But if training with Natasha had taught you anything it was that life isn’t about waiting for things to be over and for others to begin. It was about knowing what you wanted and kicking ass to get it.

You had strengthened yourself. Inside and out. You saw a therapist regularly, discussing your past with Cole, Steve, the team, your job, your life. Everything. And at first it had seemed stupid. Why would a stranger care about all that? Why should you pay someone to listen to this? But eventually, you realised how much it healed you. 

You’d thought running away would do it. That you’d go from there to here and you’d be fixed. God, were you wrong.

Maybe it was the way you saw Tony opening up to those around him. Maybe it was just growing up. Whatever it was, it made you realise that the baggage would never be unpacked and put away. It would never be organised and it would never make sense until you let yourself make sense of it. 

There was still a long way to go. You were prone to an occasional nightmare that left you sweating in your bed until the sunlight streamed through the curtains and you got up for work. You hadn’t had an actual relationship in the past eighteen months. You’d dated but it never felt right. 

But it was okay. Because you weren’t ready. And that was okay.

Clint always asked if it was because of Steve. Part of it was. There was no denying you had feelings for him, even with the distance and time between your fling. He had been the first man you had fallen for after Cole and that’s why you thought you’d never really be able to shake him. His warm kisses and soft embrace were the polar opposite of your ex and, even now, were unrivalled with the few lovers you let in. 

“Boss,” Greg called from the backroom. “Jill’s on the phone.” 

You sent an apologetic look Tony’s way. He was hanging around the counter, clearly wanting to talk, but he’d shaken his head at your look, nodding towards the phone.

That was another development.

About four months ago, Jill had sat the three of you down one evening after close and told you she was leaving. It was time she saw the world. It was heart-breaking of course. Jill had been almost like a second-mother to you for over a year and her parting felt even more painful than the departure of Natasha and Steve. But through knowing her as long as you had, you knew that she had two passions: The Cool Bean and travel.

“Y/N, before you joined the team, I thought I’d never get to travel,” Jill wiped your tears after you all had shared an emotional moment upon her reveal. “It never seemed right before. Greg, Lily, you’re great Barista’s but…”

“She’s a manager,” Lily smiled at you and you let your mouth hang open in shock. Jill gauged your reaction before continuing.

“Now, if you don’t want to, I completely understand. I hired you as a Barista, not a manager. But if you do decide to go ahead, I will help you through it for the next two months and then it’s all yours.” 

How could you not say yes? Yes, it was more hours. Yes, it was more responsibility. But for one thing, you couldn’t stand in the way of Jill’s dream. You had a brilliant team of Baristas that could help you through. And ‘The Coffee Bean’ was home. 

It had been hard at first. But that was expected. And for two months, Jill helped you through the tough times, to the point that, when she hugged you all good-bye, kissing your tear-stained cheeks and waving from the cab, nothing felt so difficult anymore.

Now, when you twirled around the shop, dancing around the machines like the first time you’d made coffee here, you knew this was the only thing you wanted to do. And it showed.

Jill kept you on the phone for just a short while, only wanting to know a few stats about the shop and how people were doing. You told her about the new Barista, joking that he gave Greg a run for his money, which earned you a whip on the side from his tea towel. She promised to call you later and tell you all about Guatemala and its highlands before hanging up. 

“Sorry, Tony,” you smiled as you approached, a little surprised that he’d stuck around to the end of the phone call. Tony shook his head, mid sip. He gulped the coffee down and smacked his lips, letting a hum of satisfaction fill the air.

“Damn good, as always,” he took another quick sip before setting the cup down. “Anyway, I’m having a party tonight. Join us? You haven’t been to one in a while and this one is going to be reaaaal special.” 

You hesitated. Tony always asked you to his occasional parties but recently you had not been going. Given your longer hours and larger responsibilities now as the boss here, you were often too exhausted to entertain a group of rich people, trying to wrap their heads around what you did.

“It’s not going to be full of snobs like last time,” Tony noticed your uncertainty and was quick to defend his invitation.

“Go, Y/N,” Greg’s hand squeezed your shoulder. “It’s about time I taught the new kid how to close up shop.” He gestured to Peter. The boy looked up at his name, eyes settling on Tony with a blush before he turned his head down. Tony frowned at him but grinned at you.

“Cute,” he commented. “And now you have no excuse. The tower at nine.” He raised his cup at you and began backing out of the room before you had chance to protest. Even though you should have declined, you couldn’t help the grin forming on your face. Maybe you should let loose for a bit.

\---

As you stepped into the already heaving entertainment area of Stark tower, you immediately felt overdressed and cursed yourself and Tony for not telling you the appropriate attire for the night. You glanced down at your dress, one you had usually worn for Stark’s illustrious, champagne-filled evenings and felt instantly out of place amongst the jean-clad, beer drinking guests at this party. 

Embarrassed, you turned on your heel to leave when you heard a loud, wolf-like howl echo across the space, followed by a familiar voice shouting your name. You instantly grinned, turning back and forgetting all about it as Natasha engulfed you in her strong arms.

“I’ve missed you, bean!” She cried happily into your ear, using the affectionate nickname she had coined for you over your texted conversations from the past year. You closed your eyes and laughed as her strength caused you to stumble.

“I missed you too!” You returned the sentiment, squeezing her waist and reopening your eyes. 

You regretted it instantly.

They were far across the room, by the pool table near the big glass windows. But they felt like the only pair of eyes in the room. Blue yet warm, soft, loving. You gulped and flickered your eyes down to the floor, unable to focus on Natasha squeezing the death of you when his eyes were on yours. Steve turned his eyes back to the game of pool before him and sipped his beer, wishing he could get drunk.

Natasha finally let go of you, her hands trailing down your arms before they grasped your hands, pulling you excitedly towards the bar.

“We are getting very drunk and you are telling me EVERYTHING about the last year.”

“And a half,” you added, pointing a finger at her. She pouted and waved the hand you had let go of in the air.

“Too long either way,” she ordered you both a drink from the bartender. “Now talk, bean.”

You were sure she had more incredible stories. You’d heard all about Washington and the Battle of the Triskelion, the fall out that followed. And you had heard from Clint that Nat had stayed relatively undercover for the past few months, travelling around the world on solo missions and with the Avengers. 

But part of you knew she didn’t want to share that side of her tonight. Tonight wasn’t about that. The whole point of this party was to forget about all that. And so, you had divulged all about your life. Basics at first, the little things happening at the coffee shop. The Christmas you’d spent at home. Therapy. And then, because your eyes kept meeting his and because that made you drink more, you were sharing all about your love life and laughing about the bad sex both of you had had in the time apart. 

Steve watched from Sam’s side the whole night. He joked and joined conversation when pushed, but the main focus of the night was you. And when he saw you laughing, knocking back drinks and swaying your hips occasionally to the music, he had taken Thor’s potent liquor eagerly, downing more than enough to get him tipsy.

As the night went on, the crowd thinned and, despite it being only you and the Avengers left, Steve was yet to talk to you. You’d danced around each other all night, watching and anticipating the others next move and avoiding it. 

It became almost a drinking game. Each move warranted a large gulp of whatever would get you drunker and then you waited for the next play. 

Then the small groups merged, and you were both in checkmate. 

“So, Cap,” Tony slapped his hands down hard on Steve’s broad shoulders. “How’s that Carter girl treating ya?” 

Steve blushed and you hung your head. It hurt more than you wanted to admit. 

“We’re fine.” Steve mumbled, sipping his drink again. Tony watched his gaze settle on you and Pepper nudged him. The subject was changed instantly. 

You were quiet for the rest of the night, sharing an occasional giggle or comment with Natasha who was affectionately wrapped around your arm. But eventually it became too much. 

“I’m gonna go,” you stood, letting Nat slip off your arm. She whined in protest and you smiled sadly, turning to Tony.

“Sorry, Tony. I think making Peter close shop and open it within twelve hours might melt the poor boys brain.” 

Tony laughed and stood pulling you into a hug. Steve cut his conversation with Sam short, fixing his eyes on you as you moved to lead.

“I’m glad you came,” Tony said as he pulled away. “You needed a night out again.”

You smiled, thanking him for a great night before letting Clint, Natasha and Pepper pull you into their own farewell embraces. You turned to wave to the others when a warm hand wrapped around your wrist, holding it in mid-air. 

Steve didn’t know how or why he had stood and made his way over to you. But his hand held your wrist, hovering your hand over his chest and his eyes were bearing down into yours. You gulped at the sudden action, composing yourself as the group watched the exchange with confusion.

“Can we talk?” Steve finally said and you sucked in a breath, feeling your chest rise and fall. 

“Sure,” you smiled, keeping your voice cheery as you slipped your hand from his grip. Your heart-rate dropped to almost normal again at the absence of his touch. You walked side by side out of the room and into the elevator. It was quiet as you both watched the door click close.

“So?...” You broke the silence, curling your toes in your shoes and gripping your clutch bag. You dared to look up at him and found him already looking down at you.

“How’ve you been?” he smiled and you found yourself smiling back.

“Good.” You instantly said, relaxing a little as the atmosphere changed from heavy to light again. “Very good, actually. How’s Washington?”

“A little crazy,” Steve sighed, scratching the back of his head. “But I… I met someone.”

Beneath the smiles and relaxed muscles, your heart cracked again.

“That’s great!” You hoped the enthusiasm wasn’t too forced. Steve seemed surprised by this response, frowning for a second before his lips tugged upwards at the corner again.

“Yeah, I just… you know.” Steve shrugged. “Trying to figure out when to make a move.”

Was he really telling you all this? You wanted so badly to tell him to stop. To tell him this was the worst thing he could possibly be doing right now. But you didn’t.

“Just go for it, Steve. She’s bound to say yes.” 

Steve processed your words as you approached the first floor and then he nodded, accepting them. The silence hung for a moment.

“You and I-“

“Wouldn’t have worked.” You cut him off immediately, eager to fix your slowly breaking heart. You felt the fragments ungluing, all your work over the past year melting at the sound of his voice and the warmth of his presence.

“Why?” His question shocked you and you were thankful for the ding of the elevator interrupting your conversation. You stepped out into the reception, slowly walking to the door, Steve still beside you.

“Well… you’re Captain America,” You smiled gratefully as he held the door open for you, the noise and humidity of the city hitting you as you stepped out. “I’m just a Barista.”

Steve hailed a cab, a frown on his face.

“You said yourself that coffee is an art. I think you underestimate yourself.” Steve stood in front of you, closer than before and you held your breath. Your brain was screaming at you, memories of the feeling of his lips against yours making your ears ring and your skin hot. 

You wanted to ask, ‘so why am I not good enough for you?’ but instead you smiled, stepping backwards away from him and wrapping a hand around the cab door. You slid into the cab, looking up at Steve one last time.

“See you around.”

\---

Steve couldn’t get your encounter out of his head the entire night. They hung around in the tower for an hour or so more, enjoying the simplicity of each other’s company and joking around without the pressure of saving the world. 

And yet, Steve felt pressure. The weight of something unfinished. 

“You okay, man?” Sam nudged his side as he zoned out, both of them heading to the two bed apartment Tony had set them up in in Stark Tower. 

“Yeah,” he didn’t sound sure and so cleared his throat. He tried again. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

“Y/N, right?” Sam had noticed the woman Steve had fixed his eyes on throughout the night. Although they hadn’t been introduced, mainly because Steve hadn’t said a single word to her all night until she’d left, Sam knew it was her. Steve had told him about the woman he’d fallen for when he first came back around and it had been Sam that had helped him figure it all out. 

But now, seeing you again, it wasn’t figured out.

“Want to grab a coffee in the morning?” Steve suggested as they head towards their own rooms. Sam narrowed his eyes at his friends back before shrugging.

“Sure.”

\---

You were eager to get to The Cool Bean the following morning. The city was still covered in darkness as you walked briskly through the streets to the shop. You hadn’t had as much sleep as usual thanks to your late night. But you knew you’d make up for that once you finished at five today, planning on crashing on your couch and binge watching your favourite show as soon as you got home.

But right now, you needed coffee. You nearly ran down the alleyway to the back entrance, keying in the code and entering the warmth of the shop, your skin crawling with excitement as you felt a buzz just being around the coffee and machines. 

You went through your usual routine, twirling around the shop to the soft tune playing over the speakers. The smile grew and grew on your face, letting your home engulf you and heal your heart. 

And then you went to the door to turn the sign from closed to open and the smile faltered.

Steve and Sam stood behind the glass talking. When he saw you nearing the door, Steve turned, offering you a wide smile and a wave. You corrected the falter and beamed again, turning the sign and opening the door.

“You boys are up early,” your voice was deceivingly cheery. Steve nearly melted into a puddle as he stepped into the warmth. It was just as he remembered. So… you. “Your usual, Steve?”

It felt weird saying it. He hadn’t been in for over a year and yet he had a usual. Customers ordered an espresso and your brain said: Steve’s usual.

“Please, darlin’.” 

He followed you to the counter and you tried not to lose yourself in the sound of him calling you darling again, like nothing had changed.

“And what about you?” You turned to Sam after placing the espresso cups under the machine.

“Cappuccino, thanks.”

You nodded and focused on the coffee, trying not to feel the weight of his presence. You heard the back door open and close and Lily shouted a hello from the back room and you called back to her. 

“Morning,” she greeted you with a smile, nodding at the two men leaning on the counter waiting for their coffee. “Need help?”

She stood by your side, close enough that she could look at you with eyes that asked if you were okay. You smiled back at her, assuring her with a twitch of your lips that you could handle this and so she left your side, tying her apron and busying herself with the fridge of cool drinks.

You approached the soldiers with their coffees, a wide smile still on your face.

“Join us?” Steve asked, taking his espresso and tilting his head to a table by the door. “We didn’t get to catch up properly and I feel like so much has happened.”

Yeah, you left. You thought but instead nodded, taking your half drunk mug of coffee and joining the two men at the table.

“So, Sam, what do you do?” You decided you didn’t want to be the centre of conversation just yet and you were eager to know about Steve’s new sidekick.

“I used to be in the Airforce,” Sam explained. “Now I run a support group for veterans.”

“Oh, is that how you met?” 

Sam snorted out a laugh and Steve chuckled under his breath, remembering their first encounter well.

“Nah, we jogged at the same time. He was a little shit and I haven’t been able to shake him.” You all laughed, sipping your coffees and letting the music take over the silence that followed.

“What about you?” Sam asked, getting the hint as Steve stared holes in his skull, begging him to say something.

“Oh well, I run this coffee shop,” You saw Steve furrow his brow in the corner of your eye. “Jill left so I took over. It’s pretty fun. I love this place.”

“And you’re…” Sam coughed, thinking of a way to get the question Steve really wanted to ask out, “single?”

You looked down at your coffee, trying to stop yourself from glancing at Steve.

“Yeah. I mean, I date here and there but I’m not looking for anything right now.” You settled with. It was silent again until the sharp ring of Steve’s phone made you all jump a bit. The screen lit up with the name Sharon and you felt a lump form in your fault. Steve frowned, downed his espresso and muttered something about having to take the call before heading outside, phone in hand. 

You and Sam looked at each other, your eyes meeting. He shot you a knowing look and smiled sadly.

“Steve’s a bit oblivious, but he means well.” Sam comforted you and your embarrassment grew, knowing that your attempts to hide your feelings were unsuccessful to anyone but Steve. “He cares about you a lot he just… doesn’t know how yet.”

You didn’t know what to take from that. He didn’t know how to care? He didn’t know how much he cared? He didn’t know how to care for you? Either way the answer was the same. Nothing was going to happen between you. You had established that a year and a half ago when you woke up in an empty bed. Why did this reminder hurt just as much?

“You like him a lot.” Sam pushed, and you looked down at your coffee again.

“I… He was something I needed a while back and… it’s hard not to like that, you know? It’s hard to forget.” 

Sam just nodded in agreement, letting the silence fall over you as he finished his coffee. The door clinked open and Steve stepped back in, pushing you into defence mode. You fixed your expression, forcing a smile and sitting up straighter. 

Sam watched your transformation, almost in awe. He had been worried about what this was doing to you… whether what Steve had done had really damaged you. But seeing you now he knew that, although you still clung onto a little part of his friend, you could hold yourself up without him. Steve hadn’t fallen for no fragile vase. You were a fighter. A house of stone. 

“We have to go,” Steve looked at Sam. “We have a lead.”

You didn’t question what that meant and just stood up at the same time as Sam. You all hesitated for a moment before you braved it. Pulling Steve into a quick hug, offering one to Sam as well. Steve watched you, chewing the inside of his cheek as he thought of what to say.

“See you around.” He repeated your words from the other night and you smiled, backing away towards the counter as you raised your hand in a mock salute, turning away before you could see him leave the shop. 

You composed yourself in the back room for a moment, hands braced on your knees and head down. Your hair fell over your eyes and the blood rushed to your brain, but it was what you needed. Finally, you stood, sweeping your hair back into a bun and straightening your back. You made your way back into the shop with a smile on your face, nodding at Lily.

“Back to work.”  
 


	6. Latte

**“And I put the latte down on a table, awash in the happy middle of my greatest adventure.” – John Green**

\---

“Someday, you’re going to get seriously hurt and I’m going to have to be the one calling May to tell her you’re in the hospital,” you muttered, pulling out a chair for Peter. He’d stumbled against the trash, a large gash in his shin and you’d had to pull him inside. 

He sat at one of the tables having changed into the spare clothes you now kept for him in the back, his suit draped lazily over an unused chair. You were crouched in front of him, applying steri-strips to the gash to pull it together and help his advanced healing process.

You’d started keeping the shop open a little later because of Peter. With few places he could hide out at, The Cool Bean became one of them. Given that you had moved into Jill’s old apartment above the shop after yours had been destroyed thanks to Ultron hacking Stark’s systems, it was inevitable that you would find out sooner or later. It had only taken you two months to discover his secret identity.

“Can my life not revolve around goddamn vigilantes for one second?” You had muttered under your breath when Peter had stumbled into the coffee-shop late one night, Spiderman suit on but mask off. 

After the Civil War, you had rained hell and fury on Tony Stark. You knew May didn’t know about Peter’s alter-ego, but you also knew that if she found out Tony Stark had taken her nephew on a little excursion to fight enhanced beings with weapons and super strength, she would have gone crazy on his ass. 

“He’s a kid, Tony!” You screamed at him the next morning once you’d seen Peter’s black eye and demanded an explanation.

“Your boyfriend is the one that punched him!” Tony argued back but you gave him a steely glare that shut him up instantly.

“Steve is NOT my boyfriend, you promised never to bring him up like that. Besides, I don’t care who punched him, no one would have punched him if you hadn’t dragged a sixteen-year-old into your little domestic!” Peter was like a little brother to you and you had taken him under his wing, guiding him and helping him through his abnormal adolescence. 

Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I know, I’m sorry. I was just… I didn’t think it’d be that intense. A lot of stuff happened that I didn’t anticipate and… I never meant to bring him into that.” You heard the guilt in his voice, his confidence breaking and revealing his true emotions. You pulled Tony into a hug, rubbing his arms soothingly to calm his anxiety before you held him at arm’s length.

“It’s okay, just… look out for him, okay? Peter’s stubborn and won’t give up the whole vigilante thing but… he needs someone looking out for him. I can only have his back some of the time.” 

That had been about three months ago now and you had lost count of how many times you’d patched Peter up after his run ins with New York’s finest criminals. At least his suit was better than a hoodie and ski-goggles now…

“Ouch!” Peter yelped when you pulled at his skin, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Last one, I promise.” You tugged the skin together with the last steri-strip, focusing hard. The bell of the door rang and you sighed. 

“Sorry, we’re closed.” You called out at the same time Peter exclaimed.

“Oh, shit.”

“Hey, language, Mr.” You scolded before turning to see the person that had entered. You recognised her although you couldn’t place from where. Her eyes were fixed on Peter, moving momentarily to look at the suit.

“You’re spider-boy?” Her voice had a heavy accent that you couldn’t place to a specific country, but it sounded Eastern-European. 

“Man,” Peter quickly interjected. “It’s Spider-Man.”

You examined the woman again, cocking your head slightly. She was shaking, and her eyes were wide and glossy, like she had just seen a ghost. Her face was shadowed by a cap, nails painted in black polish that chipped at the tips, her fingers covered in a selection of silver rings.

“You okay?” You turned back to Peter, helping him stand.

“I’m good,” he nodded, grabbing his suit and shoving it in his backpack. “Thanks, boss.”

“Don’t do anymore stupid things tonight.” You instructed harshly. You pulled out some money from your purse on the counter, handing it to him for a cab.

“Well, I guess I can hold out for twenty minutes.” He joked, nodding at the clock that read 11:41 before limping past the woman and out of the shop. You watched him leave cautiously, waiting until you saw him climb into a cab before you turned to the woman.

“Are you okay?” You asked, lips quirking into a smile. “Don’t tell me you’re a vigilante super-hero that needs stitches too, huh?”

She stayed silent and then it hit you. You knew why you knew her. She was Wanda Maximoff. She was a vigilante super-hero. 

“Well, I really can’t escape you guys, can I?” You muttered with a short laugh. “Stitches?” You gestured to the first aid kit, but she shook her head. You glanced down at her shaky hands and smiled sadly. “Coffee?”

Wanda nodded, and you gestured towards the table Peter had previously been sat at. She sat down, elbows leaning on the table. 

“What’ll it be?” You asked, wrapping an apron around your waist.

“Latte, please.” Her voice was quiet and feeble. You felt her eyes on you as she watched you work. There was something about you that felt familiar… it wasn’t your looks. She remembered every face she came across and she didn’t recognise yours. But something in the way you acted was something she knew… and yet she couldn’t place your name.

You made your way over to the table, latte in one hand and a mug of your own coffee in the other. 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda said, gratefully taking the coffee from your hands. I had a bit of a freak out and I was trying to find a coffee place that was open and the lights were on so I assumed-“

“It’s fine.” You cut off her rambling. “I was up anyway.”

You sipped your coffee, letting silence fall over you. The music wasn’t playing and yet it wasn’t awkward. It’s what Wanda needed. Just silent company that kept the thoughts at bay.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You finally asked, setting your mug down. Wanda frowned, hesitating for a moment before the floodgates opened. She didn’t know how to stop it. 

Maybe it was just that you were the only person that had asked. Maybe it was your warm presence and comforting voice. She didn’t know. But in an instant, she trusted you with her story and shared it.

You listened carefully to every word she said, offering encouragement and reassurance when needed. When a part became particularly hard to tell, you’d reach over the table, resting your hand on hers until she felt comfortable speaking again.

“And now…” Wanda let out a breath, feeling the tears that had been shed twenty minutes ago drying on her face. “I’m back here. I don’t have anywhere to live. I can’t see anyone that would care because I’m not allowed. They won’t let me on the compound and… and… if anyone found out I was back…” she trailed off, chewing her lip and tightening her grip on the now empty coffee mug.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be alright.” You whispered, your hand reaching out to hold hers again. “If you need a place to live, I have a spare room.” 

Wanda watched you carefully, searching for an ulterior motive for the offer. But she found none. Only the kindness of a stranger. She barked out a laugh at the thought.

“I’ve been yapping on, you offer me a roof over my head and I don’t even know your name,” she chuckled and you smiled back, relaxing back into your chair. 

“Well, it’s Y/N.” 

Wanda froze, the pieces clicking into place. She recognised you because she’d heard so much about you. Her smile widened, and she reached over the table, grabbing your arms.

“It’s you…” You frowned at her excitement before remembering she probably knew Clint.

“My legend precedes me. I assume Clint told you about my skills… although I wouldn’t call it a skill so much as enabling his addiction,” You shrugged. Clint didn’t come in as often anymore. Not since he retired and then un-retired and got himself on the UN’s most-wanted list. But he occasionally dropped by in the dead of night for his, quoted from the man himself, “coffee climax”, each word punctuated with a vulgar thrust that had you rolling your eyes but chuckling none the less. 

Wanda smiled at your words. Clint had told her a little when she’d asked about you, but he wasn’t her main source of information. 

“No… Steve.”

You froze at her words and she watched your reaction. Something in the way your eyes lit up and heart raced pulled her into your mind. It was wrong, she hated doing it. But she also couldn’t not.

She felt thoughts you had tried to repress bubble to the surface, they grew in the back of her mind like and inflated balloon and then it burst, your mind lighting up with memories and thoughts. She smiled. You pursed your lips.

“S-Steve… he’s talked about me?” You stuttered out, disbelieving and desperate. You cursed yourself. It had been another two years since you saw him last and yet his name always knocked you back. It tugged on a string you sometimes forgot was tied to you, pulling you back towards him and throwing you into a sea of memories and desire.

“No,” Wanda shook her head. “It’s more like… he thinks about you. I read minds and he thinks about you a lot. Not like overbearingly. It’s just always there, you know. Usually when he’s drinking coffee.” She chuckles, thinking about the way his thoughts screamed out to her whenever he took a sip of coffee, images of your lips and tongue clouding his mind and consequently, her own.

“Oh…” You trailed off, lost in thought for a few minutes. You didn’t know what to make of it all. You felt like you were supposed to know what to think and yet you couldn’t pin a thought down. They all swam around, lost and calling out to you. Nothing made sense when you thought of Steve, it never had. 

Wanda’s phone ringing interrupted your thoughts and you instinctively glanced down at the screen. Wanda couldn’t miss the way your breath hitched in your throat when the three-letter caller ID lit up the café.

Cap.

“Sorry,” she murmured but you shook your head, composing yourself.

“It’s okay,” you picked up her mug and your own, both of you standing at the same time. “I’ll take care of these and then I’ll lead you to your room?”

The phone call was hushed and although you strained to hear it, you were secretly glad you couldn’t hear the conversation, knowing it would only confuse you more than not hearing it.

You finished washing up before Wanda had finished the call and so you leaned against the counter. A wave of exhaustion washed over you and you realised it had been nearly eighteen hours since you last slept. You’d opened and closed the shop. Then right before you had got into bed, Peter had woken you up with his injury and then Wanda had spent nearly two hours talking to you. 

Maybe you could just close your eyes for one second…

Moments later, you felt something nudge you awake. You groaned, curling your arms around whatever you were leaning on. You heard a camera shutter and pouted, opening one eye. 

Wanda stood above you, staring down with an amused smile on her face. You hesitated a moment before remembering where you’d fell asleep. Glancing at your arms, you realised you were hugging the espresso machine, cheek resting against the cool metal surface.

“Sorry,” Wanda watched as you quickly stood, eyes full of embarassment. “I kept you up. I just thought you’d want to sleep in your bed.”

“God, I’m exhausted.” You laughed awkwardly before stretching your back. “Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”

Wanda grinned, following you up the staircase in the backroom.

“Lead the way, flatmate.”

\---

Living with Wanda was probably the most fun you’d had in years. You’d never had a flatmate before, going from living with your parents to living with Cole to living alone. But you were glad you were getting to experience this now.

She usually stayed in the apartment, given it was risky for her to be seen in public. But occasionally she’d hang out downstairs in The Cool Bean with a latte, chatting to Greg or Lily or Peter or you. Clint came by a couple of times too and was eager to have her join his “coffee climax” (Wanda had wrinkled her nose in disgust at the name but joined in anyway). 

When Tony had walked into the coffee shop one morning and spotted Wanda, your eyes widened and Wanda froze to the spot. After you calmly explained the situation to him, afraid he’d jump into action, you both stood in silence, waiting for his opinion.

“You know I’m the one keeping the UN off your asses, right?” He’d chuckled. “Besides, in the entire world, The Cool Bean is probably the most neutral territory you could get. International waters. No man’s land. See you around.” And with that he left. 

Another good part of living with Wanda is that now you now had someone to drink wine and watch terrible romance movies with. And even better: Nat was now based upstate but every weekend she wasn’t on a mission, she’d come down to the city and join in. 

This week, unfortunately, Nat was away on a mission and didn’t join you for girl’s night. But it didn’t matter too much anyway. You were only two hours in and you and Wanda were already having the time of your life.

“Okay, but how do you have sex?” You’d pressed, voice slightly slurred from the couple of glasses of wine already in your system.

“He can shift into whatever he wants, Y/N.” Wanda smirked and your eyes widened.

“Anything?”

“Yup.”

You paused thinking and Wanda couldn’t help but look into your head. 

“Totally did that.” She confirmed, and your eyes widened.

“YOU GOT HIM TO SHIFT INTO RYAN GOSLING.” You spluttered, causing Wanda to throw her head back with a laugh. You went through a list of celebrities and other interesting experiments they had tried, the room filling with laughter. After the last few revelations, you were finding it hard to breath, doubled over on the sofa, wheezing.

There was a knock on the door and you sighed, trying, and failing, to end the giggles. Giving up, you giggled your way to the door, unlatching it as you turned to Wanda, commenting on her last revelation: that she’d got him to morph into Thor.

“I can’t believe you got him to do that just to see how big his di-“ You choked on your words when you opened the door.

“Y/N.” His eyes met yours and your knees turned to jelly, eyes fixated on his as the breath left your lungs. He’d changed. A thick beard covered his chin and his hair was longer, pushed out of his eyes but reaching halfway down his neck. He looked a little older but not by much and his eyes hadn’t changed a bit. Still blue… the flecks of green you loved so much still there.

“Steve…” you whispered, unable to add any volume to your voice as your body shut down.

“I’m sorry…” he furrowed his brow, looking at his phone. “Wanda said this was her address.”

Wanda came up behind you, beaming as she noticed Steve. She launched herself at him, hugging him tight.

“Stevie!” She shouted and you bit your lip to hide a chuckle at her tipsiness. 

“Hey, Wands.” Steve laughed, hugging her back awkwardly. 

“Sorry, she’s had a bit of wine.” You explained, feeling whatever effect the wine had had on you dissipate, being replaced with whatever effect Steve had on you.

“How was Wakanda? You figure it all out?” Wanda pulled back, standing beside you in the doorway. Steve glanced at you from the corner of his eye, unable to comprehend that you were here, unexpectedly. Shaking off his thoughts, he fixed his gaze back to Wanda.

“yeah… Bucky’s back.” You watch his face light up and can’t help but smile. You’d heard a lot about Bucky from Clint and you could tell how much Steve’s old friend meant to him. “I thought you’d want to come see him… at the compound… Tony has cleared it all.”

Wanda’s eyes widened, thoughts going to seeing Vision again.

“We can go back?” She squealed. You were happy for her but you couldn’t help be a little sad that this was the end of your roommate adventure. You thanked the gods that the amount of wine Wanda had had was impairing her ability to read minds.

“Yes. We can go back.” Steve confirmed. Wanda began jumping up and down before she froze.

“I have to pack!”

And with that, she disappeared into her room. You watched her leave with a smile before remembering Steve’s presence at your door. He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair.

“So…” He trailed off and you bit your lip. Steve’s eyes glanced down at your lips, watching your reaction. “How’ve you been?…”

You leaned against the doorway.

“Good. you?”

“Yeah… good…” Steve shifts his weight from the balls of his feet to his toes, rocking himself forwards and backwards awkwardly in the doorway. He felt the pressure of something unfinished again… like last time. Although this time it was a little different. “Sharon and I…”

You shook your head, smiling sadly. 

“You don’t need to tell me Steve… she would’ve been crazy not to go out with you.” 

Steve frowned, stepping a little closer to you. You felt your lungs clog up and your heart race. He smelled just the same. Strong sandalwood and faint vanilla. The scent danced on your tongue, reminding you his lips tasted like vanilla too.

“No that’s not what i was going to say, I mean yes she said yes but I was going to say that Sharon and I-“

He was cut off when Wanda ran at him from the spare bedroom, a duffle over her shoulder. She wrapped her black-polished fingers around his arm and tugged. 

“Let’s go!” She whined, tugging harder. Once they were both out the door, you smiled sadly, pushing the door closed quickly.

“Goodbye Steve.”


	7. Mocha

**“To espresso or to latte, that is the question...whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain...or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache...” – Jasper Fforde**

\---

The truth was, Steve was never not thinking about you. It was stupid really. It felt like he was living a cliché. He just needed to see a cup of coffee in the corner of his eye and that was it, you were in his head all day. You were the first girl he sought comfort in the arms of after he woke up from the ice, and now, no one else compared.

He’d tried with Sharon, he really had. He thought maybe she was his Peggy 2.0. When he’d found out she was Peggy’s great niece, it had seemed almost laughable. Sharon was strong and defiant, and she did things on her own terms. Just like Peggy. She possessed all the Peggy-qualities that Steve loved.

But what Steve realised was that it wasn’t just the world that had changed since 1945. He had too. And the man that had loved Peggy probably would have loved Sharon as much as she deserved. The thing was, he was not that man anymore. 

Seeing you again felt too good to be true. He didn’t know why he thought he’d never see you again. You were good friends with Nat, Tony and Clint and there was probably no way he could resist going to The Cool Bean for coffee in the future. And yet when you had opened the door he’d expected Wanda to be behind, his breath vanished from his lungs and his brain sounded the alarm.

You hadn’t really changed either. I mean sure, you’d aged a little. Your hair was different, and you wore newer clothes. But everything about you felt the same. The way you smiled, your voice, your eyes. You were all he remembered you to be and more. 

He’d wanted to tell you immediately. To tell you Sharon was a detour on his path, but he wanted you. He’d always wanted you. 

He was stupid enough to think you’d listen. It had been over four years since you’d met. How the hell could he expect you to feel the same? To want the same things as he still did? You had a normal life. You were probably dating a lawyer or an accountant now – something steady, something safe, something reliable. Not him.

“She’s not.” 

Wanda’s voice had made him jump out of his thoughts, his gaze snapping from the view outside the window to where she had appeared beside him. She wasn’t looking at him, leaning on the railing that blocked them from the drop to the floor below and looking out the window, but she had a smile on her face – a knowing one.

Steve wanted to scold her for reading his mind and yet he couldn’t. He bit his tongue and stared down at the coffee cup in his hand. It was good – bitter and smooth. But whenever he sipped it, he thought back to you. This one was too bitter and not smooth enough. Not like what you made.

“She should be. She deserves stable,” Steve murmured, taking a final gulp of coffee to drain the mug.

“She deserves love.” Wanda’s tone was final. “She deserves everything she wants in the world and more.”

“I can’t give her what she wants.” Steve thought of the stability you surely wanted. The house with a backyard and a family. The reliable partner that came home to her every night and made love to her, staying until the morning where she could wake up in their arms.

Wanda looked at the images and smiled sadly, shaking her head so her red tinged locks fell around her face. She knew you well, having lived with you for over six months, and she knew the difference between what you could settle for and what you wanted.

“You’re wrong.” Steve didn’t know if she was talking about the images of an ideal life or the fact that he couldn’t give her it. Wanda lay her hand on her friend’s shoulder, taking the empty mug from his fingers. “There’s only one thing that she wants, Steve. You.”

It was said as she left him. That ‘you’ soft, drifting around him and settling in the air like smog. It made his head spin. He stood there, unable to string a coherent thought together, staring out the window. He flexed and relaxed his muscles, hands tightening and loosening around the barrier as he tried to think. 

“You know I’m going to reconsider inviting you back if you’re just gonna destroy my well-built facility like this.” Tony’s voice made Steve loosen his muscles again, glancing down at the barrier. It was crushed in the shape of his closed palm, rising and falling around where he’d gripped it. He took a step back and blushed.

“Sorry… I wasn’t thinking. I mean, I was thinking… I wasn’t concentrating.” Steve stuttered out and Tony smiled.

“You picked up Wanda today?”

Steve only nodded. 

“You see her?” 

This time Steve didn’t say anything. He’d confided in Tony a couple of times on the subject of you. Tony never bullshitted with him. He knew you both and Steve needed someone impartial. It was okay Sam telling him to go for it, but he didn’t know you well enough. Tony wasn’t afraid to tell him when to back off and when he’d fucked up – which was apparently a lot when it came to you. 

Tony wanted to ask but he saw the cogs turning and decided to leave it.

“Well, I’m having a welcome back party for you and your little Mystery Inc. squad.” Steve frowned at the reference and Tony threw his hands up in the air. “Seriously? You haven’t seen Scooby-Doo yet?”

“Is that the dog that solves crime?” Steve thought back to a picture he’d seen once.

“Whatever, party is at Stark Tower. Can’t have people knowing our whereabouts. We’ll all make our way down there in a couple of hours.” Tony instructed before turning and walking away. Steve sighed, unsure whether he could handle tonight. Wanda’s words were still swimming in his mind and he felt the need to share his feelings with someone. 

\--- 

Bucky and Sam were together in Bucky’s room. It had been weird seeing them grow closer. Their relationship still retained that mutual spite and yet nowadays, there derogatory comments and teasing had a friendlier tone. 

Like now, for instance, Sam was arguing with Bucky over the TV.

“Why not just project it like in Wakanda?” Bucky muttered, pulling at the screen which pixelated under his fingers. “This seems bulky…”

“God, I’m sorry the technology here in America ain’t as good as whatever space-tech shit them Wakandans have but I bet Wakanda didn’t have this.” Sam grabbed the remote, pushing in a number and watched as Bucky’s eyes grew in surprise. 

“Sam, please.” Steve walked in and raised his arm to shield his eyes from the naked woman on the screen. Sam smirked but switched the TV off.

“Just catching Terminator up on the whole porn thing.” Sam shrugged, “You alright, Cap?”

“Yes.” Steve answered quickly and both Bucky and Sam raised their eyebrows. Steve sighed, running a hand through his longer hair. He perched himself on the armrest of Bucky’s sofa. “No.”

“Is this gonna be a feelings sharing thing?” Bucky crinkled his nose. “Because if so, I’m gonna need a drink and snacks.” 

Steve chuckled but nodded. 

“On the couch, I’ll get the beers.” Sam instructed, making his way to the small kitchenette in Bucky’s room and pulling out three beers from the fridge and some Doritos from the cupboard. Steve followed his orders, sitting in the middle of the couch. Bucky seated himself across from him on the coffee table, leaving space beside him for Sam.

Sam joined them, holding out a beer to Steve. Steve took it gratefully, reaching for the Doritos only to have them jerked away from them and over Sam’s shoulder.

“Uh, uh, Cap. You talk, we eat.” Sam sat beside Bucky, opening the chips. “Besides, how do you expect us to keep you in tip-top Dorito shape if we’re filling out your middle with Doritos?”

Steve scoffed. 

“So, is this a life feelings, a work feelings or a love feelings chat?” Bucky asked, Doritos crunching in his mouth as he talked. 

“This is definitely a love feelings kind of talk.” Sam nodded, opening his beer on a plate on Bucky’s arm. It was a trick they’d discovered in Wakanda, much to their delight. “He saw the coffee girl yesterday.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Bucky’s mouth contorted into a shit-eating grin.

“How did you know?” Steve frowned. He hadn’t told anyone yet.

“Wanda.” Sam shrugged. “She lived with her. You picked Wanda up. I’m guessing she was there, reminded you how madly and sickeningly-“ He paused, fake gagging. “-in love with her you are, and now you’re all woe is me, she doesn’t love me back, I hate my life.” He fainted into Bucky’s lap, causing Bucky to frown, flicking the man in the forehead with his metal hand. Sam yelped in pain, sitting up and rubbing his forehead.

“Hey, what did we say Fucky, no metal.” 

Steve shook his head at his friends and then sighed. 

“Yeah, well. I wanted to tell her that Sharon and I didn’t work out-“

“Woah, wait. You were gonna go up to her, tell her ‘hey, you know that girl I dated whilst you were in love with me? Well that didn’t work out. Wanna date me now?’” Bucky raised his eyebrows, both him and Sam leaning forward on their knees. Steve furrowed his brow. 

“Well when you put it like that…” He muttered, taking a large gulp of his beer. Bucky and Sam both groaned, heads thrown back.

“You know, you may have gone from dopey dwarf to Joe Palooka in the body department but you’re still the same old Steve up there, punk.” Bucky pushed he heel of his hand against Steve’s forehead with a thud and Steve glared.

“Joe Palooka?” Sam frowned but Bucky and Steve just shook their heads.

“Look pal, bottom line is, this isn’t really gonna snap straight back into place. You aren’t gonna pick up where you left off, which I believe, was when you left her alone in your bed and fucked off to Washington,” Bucky scolded, Sam nodding eagerly beside him.

“That’s true, you did that.” 

“Anyway, you have a lot to build back up, that’s what I’m saying. And telling her that you want to be with her because your last relationship ended is not a good foundation to lay, my friend.” Bucky slapped his hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve thought for a second, muscles tense, before he relaxed again, body pressed into the back of the sofa.

“You’re right,” Steve sighed. “As always.”

“A right pain in my ass.” Sam muttered, earning a hit on the arm from Bucky. 

“We gotta get ready for this party.” Steve stood, downing the rest of the beer. Bucky scrunched up his nose at the statement.

“Do we have to?” He whined like a child and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Tony was nice enough to let our asses back in the country. I think we can drink his alcohol and listen to his music for one night.”

Bucky thought for a second, standing up himself.

“When you put it like that it doesn’t sound too bad.”

\---

The party was as Steve remembered all of Tony’s parties. It was loud, it was full of fun and it was full of superheroes comparing dick sizes (not literally… yet). He’d enjoyed them before. It had been a shock at first – the way things were done in this century. But with the Asgardian mead that flowed, the banter shared and the actually decent music, it had served as an enjoyable night.

But tonight, he couldn’t enjoy anything, because apparently it wasn’t just superheroes invited. 

You were here. 

You walked in an hour after him, in a dress that took his breath away. The material was thin and silky looking – appropriate for the humidity of the city’s summer. It clung to your body occasionally, only for a second when you walked a certain way and then it was back to flowing down your frame. 

After walking in, you had instantly been pulled to Natasha and Wanda’s side, the two of them hogging your attention for a good portion of the night. They introduced you to others – T’Challa, Vision, Strange, Peter Quill, Gamora, Rocket and on and on.

Steve admired as you kept a polite face when they introduced you to a tree. He could see the shock and awe in your eyes, it was the same look he’d had, and it made him smile.

What hurt him though was when you stuck around Quill. Peter leant on a bar, a smile on his face as he listened intently to whatever you were saying. He watched as Peter touched your arm and Steve clenched his fist around his glass.

“Why the long face, punk.” Bucky moved to stand beside his friend and followed his gaze. His eyes fixed on a girl in a flowy dress talking to Quill and when he turned back to Steve, he saw the look in his eyes.

“She the coffee girl?” Bucky smirked and Steve sighed, turning to his friend. 

“Bucky-“ 

“Go on then pal... seriously, stop moping and talk to her.” Bucky pushed him and Steve looked down at his drink for a second. Finally he nodded and Bucky smiled, following him as he made his way over to Quill. Both men frown when they find that you are no longer by his side, Wanda in your place.

“Rogers!” Quill smiled and Wanda turned, recognising the look in his eyes.

“She’s Spider-Boy’s designated driver for the night,” Bucky scrunched his nose up at the mention of the kid. 

“She’s taken him back to the shop. Peter here gave him some of the mead.” Wanda glared at Quill who shrugged.

“The kid said he was eighteen!” 

“The drinking age here in the United States of America, Earth is twenty one.” Wanda chastised as Steve looked to Bucky panicked. Bucky just smiled, grabbing his friends shoulder.

“I got your back buddy.” 

You collapsed against the counter, tired from lugging Peter up to your couch. You’d called May and explained the situation. She had understandably freaked out but was calmed by the fact that you had taken him out of the party and had him a safe distance from any extra-terrestrial alcohol. She’d told you she was getting the subway to the shop now, planning on picking Peter up. 

You’d made your way down to the shop, settling on making yourself a coffee while you waited. You shut your eyes, sipping the coffee and closing your eyes at the warming taste. The bell rung above the coffee shop door and you sighed.

“Sorry we’re closed.” You sighed, opening your eyes. 

Steve stood a few steps into the shop, hands tucked into his jean pockets. He was wearing a black t-shirt that clung to his torso and you cursed yourself for letting your eyes drift to his biceps. 

He watched you stand straighter, the coffee in your hand lowering. 

“Y/N,” he murmured and you gulped, shaking yourself out of your trance and stretching your mouth into a heart-warming smile. It was genuine, happy, and Steve swore he wanted to make you smile like that for the rest of your life.

“Steve… and you must be Bucky, hi” You broke your eyes away from Steve and looked to his left at the Brunette. Bucky waved at you in response before a silence settled over you all. You gestured to the machine. “Want a coffee?”

Steve nodded eagerly, stepping forward so he reached the counter in one short stride. He was close enough now that you could smell his cologne and you could see all the movement in his eyes. You leaned a little closer, looking up at him.

“Please, an es-“

“Espresso, I know,” You cut him off with another heartstopping smile. You were aware you had been staring at Steve again and turned to Bucky. “You?”

“Mocha please,” Bucky leaned on the counter and Steve nudged his side. “To go.” The man finished, glaring sideways at his friend.

“Steve said you read people based off the coffee they drink,” Bucky watched as you made the coffee and you pursed your lips to hide a smile at the thought of Steve talking about you.

“Bucky-“ Steve tried to save himself the embarrassment but Bucky wasn’t having it.

“What you did!”

You laughed at their bickering but didn’t turn to look at him.

“Well not exactly… kind of… it’s not an exact science but I guess certain types of people order certain types of coffee.” 

“So you know all the Avengers orders… what’s their personality?”

You went through all of them, feeling your face heat up when you recited Steve’s order. He blushed and looked down, remembering what had followed that revelation last time. Bucky watched you with a smirk.

“Erm… anyway, Sam… he orders a Cappuccino. Usually Cappuccino drinkers are very bubbly, caring and honest. They’re good friends and are drawn to passionate people.” You placed a to go cup of Mocha in front of Bucky, turning to Steve. “To go?” You asked and Steve shook his head. You ignored your heart skipping a beat.

“Wanda orders a Latte. They’re laid-back and generally calm, very supportive. They think about life a lot but they can be indecisive… they don’t know which path to take.” You explained, busying yourself with the Espresso.

“Okay and what about my order.” Bucky pushed and Steve glared at him again.

“Well, bear in mind this is just a theory. It’s not necessarily accurate. I don’t know you well enough.” You defended but received only a shrug from Bucky. “Mocha drinkers are flirty and romantic, insightful and compassionate – occasionally over affectionate.” 

“Pretty spot on…” Steve muttered but you hadn’t finished.

“But they can be unreliable and have a difficulty committing.”

There was a silence and you were worried you said the wrong thing. Bucky thought to his past as The Winter Soldier – the threat of turning into the soldier the epitome of unreliable and he snickered.

“Damn that is accurate.” He grinned and you smiled, bringing across the small cup of Espresso for Steve, “Well this has been fascinating but I better go.”

He saluted the two of you but neither were watching him as he left, eyes fixed on each other. You didn’t need to tell him to make his eay over to the table by the window – he did it on instinct. You followed him there, coffee in hand and sat silently across from him.

“So… how was Wakanda?… I heard a lot of stuff about it on the news. it looks beautiful,” You sommented after taking alarge gulp of coffee. Steve nodded eagerly.

“Yeah it really is. it’s an incredible place.” There was another silence and Steve took his first sip of Espresso. He nearly groaned. Perfect. 

“Y/N can we talk?” 

You smirked over your coffee.

“I kind of thought the moving of your mouth and the sounds coming out of it were already classed as talking.” You joked and Steve smiled but didn’t laugh.

“I… I feel like I need to apologise. For a lot of things. But mainly for lying to you… and myself.”

You stayed silent, urging him on with your lack of a response.

“When we first… five years ago. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was just sort of stumbling around and yet, the only thing I felt sure of was you. But I just… tricked myself into tying you to everything else in my life and I left because to leave that, I had to leave you.” He frowned. “Does that make sense?”

“I think so.” You nodded, feeling your heartrate quicken.

“You were just so new and refreshing. And I was so desperate for everything to be what it was that I went chasing that. Bucky, Sharon…” he trailed off and you bit your lip. “But that’s not what I wanted.” 

He leaned over the table slightly and you knew then what he was saying. You sucked in a breath.

“I… I’ve…” You didn’t know what to say first. “You hurt me. A lot.” Steve tried to interrupt but you shook your head. “No, I need to say this. I pretended for so long that it didn’t hurt me because I knew it was coming. But you can know somethings coming and it still hurts. I knew you’d have to leave me at some point. I knew we wouldn’t work but… I wished it could have.” You looked down at the table, fingers tracing the grain of wood as you blinked back the tears. Steve hesitated for a second before reaching over bravely with his hand to cover yours. 

“I want it to work.” Steve whispered. You looked up at him and he faltered, blushing awkwardly.

“Y/N… I… when I kissed you, all those years ago. I told you you tasted of coffee.” He stumbled on his words and you smiled, turning your hand to lace his fingers in yours. You gave his hand a squeeze, encouraging him on.

“Well, truth is… for the past few years it’s been different… I just… I fell so hard for you that every time I tasted coffee… I tasted you.” His eyes met yours and you froze. He saw and began babbling. “But it was never right because it was never quite you… it was too bitter it was too sweet it was-“

You cut him off by standing up, bending down and pressing your lips hands tangling in his hair. He tasted the coffee on your tongue and it went straight to his head, the balance between bitter and sweet, soft and sharp the perfect amount. He swiped his tongue across your lip, eager to taste more and then lost it. He pulled you into his lap, arms wrapped around your waist. 

You felt your head spin as he pulled you closer, the action taking you back five years to when he’d held you and made your feel safe. Except this felt different. Before the kisses you’d shared were needy – rushed because you didn’t know if that would be the last. This was something else. It was slow and felt like a promise that this was anything but the last. 

Finally, you pulled away, resting your forehead against his. Your hair fell across his face and tangled with his beard.

“Never tasted like that.” he smiled and brushed your lips with his finger. “Never that perfect.”

You beamed down at him.

“Promise you won’t hurt me again?” You murmured, hands moving from his hair to cup his cheeks. Steve shook his head quickly.

“Never again. I promise.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your lips before he smiled. “Besides, I think if I remember rightly your self-defence skills are pretty damn scary.”

You giggled as he bit your bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut with joy.

“You’re damn right, I can kick your ass.” You teased, gasping when Steve’s hands travelled to your ass, squeezing it playfully.

“I love you…” he whispered and you beamed.

“I-“

“Peter Parker!” 

You jumped in Steve’s lap when you heard May’s voice angrily reverberating around the shop. She turned to the corner and gasped, blushing slightly.

“Shit, sorry.” She muttered but was distracted when a groggy Peter made his way into the shop from the back. She glared at him, grabbing his arm and pulling him out the kitchen. Steve and you walked amusedly as Peter protested, enjoying the banter exchanged between the aunt and her nephew. 

Steve’s hands drew circles on your back and you relaxed into his touch. May finally got Peter out the door and turned back to you with a smirk and a wink.

“Enjoy your night!” She called and you felt Steve chuckle beneath you. He kissed you again, hard and passionately. His teeth clashed with yours and you moaned into the kiss, hands tugging at his t-shirt to bring him closer.

“Wait!” You suddenly broke away, Steve pulling back immediately with concern. Your eyes softened and Steve frowned but you just smiled, running a hand through his hair. “I love you too… I never got to say it back… I love you.”

Steve chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“I know.”


	8. Double Espresso

**“coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self.” - Terry Pratchett**

\---

“You don’t have to do this you know,” Steve wrapped his arms around your middle, head resting on your shoulder as he peppered kisses on your neck. You huffed but leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a second as you washed yet another pot.

“I know I don’t, but I want to.” 

Peter only graduated high school once and when May asked if they could use the shop for his party, you had immediately said yes. She had tried to convince you to let her get a caterer, but you insisted that you could cook. Well… you insisted that you could make a ton of cakes and cookies whilst Pepper got her chefs to make the savory stuff. 

You were currently on your fourth cake, it now baking in the kitchen of your apartment as two others sat in the oven at the shop, one already baked and on the counter downstairs.

Steve had kept his distance at first, but when your expedition moved upstairs to your apartment and he saw your running around in a flurry, he padded into the kitchen to help you.

“Okay, what do you want me to do?” Steve asked, rolling up his sleeves and standing beside you. You smiled, leaning into him before frowning at the recipe before you.

“Well, I’m making cookies now…” You trailed off as Steve picked up the recipe, narrowing his eyes at it. 

“Cool, sit down babe, I got this.” He began running around the kitchen, grabbing ingredients, as you stood frozen to the spot. He looked up at you when you still hadn’t moved. “Sit.” He repeated.

This time you obeyed, perching on a barstool as you watched him make the mixture, humming a song beneath his breath. It had been a blissful six months and a month ago, Steve moved in. It didn’t seem sudden. Steve made sure he had less hours, both because he wanted to slow down and because he wanted to be with you. 

You were apprehensive at first, wanting to protect your heart in case suddenly Steve had to run back into battle again. But for two months he was perfect. He turned up five minutes early to everything. He bought you flowers and when you’d had a long day at the shop, he’d be at your door with take-out and wine within seconds, happy to relieve your aches and stress… in more than enough ways.

So, you’d let him further in. You let him stay over and make you breakfast in the morning. You let him meet your parents. You let him move in. 

Now, watching him make cookies in just a t-shirt and sweats, made you fall even harder. It was domestic Steve that you loved the most. 

You loved watching him cook dinner, sitting with him on the dining room table and talking about things like an incident in the coffee shop or Penelope at the grocery store. 

You loved sitting on the couch and reading as he sat at your feet, back against the sofa with a sketchbook in hand. You’d peer over his shoulder to see what he was drawing, feeling flustered and honored when it was you.

You loved watching him play with your dog, rolling around on the floor and letting the puppy lick his face as he fake protested.

Sure, you’d had a crush on strong, Captain America Steve. But that wasn’t the Steve you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Domestic Steve was just as strong, just as kindhearted except a whole lot more. 

It took him twenty minutes to make the cookies and the whole time he hummed different songs. You watched him work, admiring how his muscles flexed whenever he mixed the ingredients. It was turning you on. 

When he finally put the cookies in the oven, removing the cake that was finished as well, you stood, wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“Thank you, baby,” you kissed his back, feeling him chuckle. He spun in your arms, planting a kiss on your forehead.

“Is that everything?” He asked, hands massaging circles on your waist. You smirked, tracing your fingers down his chest before slipping them under his shirt. Your hands were warm against his skin and he relaxed under your touch. 

“For now,” you trailed off, reaching up on your toes to press your lips to his. He pushed you backwards until you were against the breakfast counter, lifting you up to place you down on the side.

“No-“ But it was too late, Steve had already lowered you onto the surface. A small cloud of flour poofed into the air around you and Steve muffled a snicker with his arm. 

“Sorry.”

You pouted, lifting your hip to see a large white mark on your jeans. You swiped your hand through the flour, scooping it in your hands before throwing it in Steve’s face. He spluttered and staggered back, looking at you with wide eyes, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.

“Oh, game on.”

\---

 

Half an hour later and you lay tangled in a floury mess on the floor, only in your underwear and panting. Steve was propped up against the counter, your head in his lap. One of his hands was tangled with yours and his other was tracing through the flour on your stomach, creating delicate patterns in the powder.

“I love you,” he lifted your hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle affectionately. You giggled at the action, looking into his perfect blue eyes. 

“I love you, too.”

“Y/N, Pepper told us to bring the Katsu curry but there’s no room downstairs so-“

Steve scrambled for your clothing, but it was too late, Bucky, Natasha and Tony were already in the kitchen, staring at the mess before their eyes settled on you. Steve hid you behind his body, but Tony still averted his eyes. Bucky and Natasha just snickered.

“Nice!” Bucky raised his hand to Steve who glared but when Natasha held her hand out to you, you high-fived it, shrugging when your boyfriend looked at you shocked.

“Here,” you moved from behind Steve, not really caring what people saw. You took the Katsu curry from Natasha’s hands and placed it on the kitchen counter.

“People will be here in an hour,” Natasha called, shooting you a wink as she pulled a muttering Tony out the room. You and Steve cleaned the mess you’d made in the kitchen, sharing smug glances every now and then. After the kitchen was clean and the cookies had been taken out of the oven, Steve watched you decorate the cake with precision. He swore your face when you concentrated was the cutest thing in the world.

“How fancy do we have to dress?” Steve asked as you washed the decorating tools. You shrugged, drying your hands on a tea towel.

“I don’t think it’s like suit and tie kind of fancy. Maybe just a button down and jeans?” You suggested and Steve nodded, taking your hand in his as he pulled you towards the bedroom. You both changed beside each other, Steve putting on a neutral checked shirt and blue jeans as you slipped on a white summer dress and brown leather pumps. 

Steve helped you put on a necklace, kissing above the clasp as he fastened it around your neck.

“You look beautiful,” he murmured against your skin and no matter how many times he said it, you felt your face heating up at the compliment. 

“Come on, Romeo,” You spun around, wrapping your fingers around the front of his shirt. “People will be here soon.” 

Steve pressed a quick kiss to your lips before making his way into the kitchen. You took the Katsu curry in your hands as Steve balanced the plate of cookies and the cake in each hand. 

There was a faint chatter in the shop as you came downstairs and when Lily heard footsteps from the back, she ran to you.

“The cakes are decorated and on the counter. Pepper brought some more dishes around but Tony told her not to take them upstairs for some reason,” You heard Steve giggle behind you and you kicked his shin. “Anyway, this the Katsu?” 

Lily took the dish from your hands and ran into the shop with it. She loved this – honestly most of the party planning had been done by her. 

You and Steve made your way into the shop, immediately smiling at the warmth of it all. It never got old, for you nor Steve. It always felt like home. 

The tables had been pushed together to form one big table in the middle, at least thirty seats around that. Of course, you couldn’t move the counter tables by the window, but most of those were being used to store snacks and food. The sign on the door was turned to closed, a note beneath it in Steve’s neat handwriting reading ‘FOR A PARTY’, surrounded by a drawing of a graduation cap and a balloon. 

Tony and Pepper were leaning on the counter, arms wrapped around each other as they listened to Clint and his wife tell them something about their new extension. Nat was keeping Clint’s three kids busy on the floor with coloring books and puzzles. Bucky and Sam were already sat at the table, Sam on his phone as Bucky folded napkins into swans.

“You don’t have to do that you know, Buck,” You smiled, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as Steve took the food over to the counter. Bucky looked up at you with a smile.

“It’s fun,” he turned back to his swan and Sam chuckled, earning him a kick in the shin from Bucky. 

“May’s on her way,” Tony walked over to you, cookie in his mouth. You gave him a reprimanding glare but when you saw Pepper shaking her head at him, you realized he’d probably already been chastised and clearly it hadn’t worked.

Wanda, Vis and Bruce arrived a few minutes later, Wanda stealing your attention to chat with Natasha about life. Natasha told her about what they’d walked in on earlier and you rolled your eyes at their lewd comments, escaping their company when you saw a couple of cabs pull up outside. You squealed, running to the door and yanking it open as Peter stepped out in his cap and gown.

He immediately beamed at you, running into your outstretched arms and lifting you easily.

“How does it feel to be an adult, lil man,” you ruffled his hair, pulling him into the shop as his friends and May followed. 

“Weird… but good.” He smirked up at you, pulling away from you to accept the rest of the groups embraces. You stood by Steve’s side and watched on as your little dysfunctional family began showering Peter and his friends with attention. It wasn’t hard to miss the tears welling in Tony’s eyes, even from behind his red tinged sunglasses and, when you looked up at your boyfriend, you saw his own were misty.

“What’s up, old man?” You teased, wrapping your arm around his waist. Steve looked down at you and smiled, shaking his head.

“Can’t a man get emotional?”

You just shrugged, turning back to watch May and Peter have an emotional conversation.

“I can’t imagine what she must be feeling,” Steve moved behind you, arms wrapped around your front and chin resting on the top of your head.

“What do you mean?” You asked, smiling as Peter pulled May into a big hug.

“She’s raised him, you know? And now he’s all grown up. Must be some feeling.”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t know how. But you watched the scene before you with a newfound perspective. Then you gasped, spinning in Steve’s arms.

Steve looked down at you with a frown and then a smile.

“Who told you?” You tried to fight a grin but were failing and Steve chuckled, hands moving to your stomach.

“Nat told Bucky, Bucky told me.” 

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You shook your head, glaring at Bucky how cowered under your gaze, not understanding what he had done to deserve it. You had been planning on telling Steve after tonight, seeing how he acted with Clint’s children. 

“It was.” Steve scoffed, still a little disbelieving of the whole situation. You pursed your lips, worried at his reaction. Steve noticed and pressed his palm to your cheek comfortingly, a smile on his face. “But it’s a good one.”

“Yeah?” Your lips curled into a smile and Steve nodded, pressing his lips to yours. You snaked your arms around his neck. 

“I’m going to be a dad,” he breathed, and you chuckled, heart filling at the happiness in his eyes. You turned back to the group, Steve’s arms moving around your front again with one caressing your barely showing stomach. You watched Peter talking to May again, heart swelling with the idea that in eighteen years, that would be you.

“When can we tell the others?” He murmured into your ear. You were about to tell him not today – that today was Peter’s day – when May’s eyes widened and she turned to you.

“You’re pregnant?!” 

You and Steve froze as dozens of eyes fixed to the two of you, watching Steve’s hand on your stomach. But then, you both smiled, tears in your eyes, and the group erupted in happy chatter, swarming the two of you with compliments and congratulations.

“I think I’m going to need a coffee, baby,” Steve whispered in your ear as he began getting a rant about responsibility from Tony.

“Espresso?” You asked, backing up so you were heading behind the counter. He grinned at you, sending a wink your way before replying.

“Make it a double.”


End file.
